Wednesday Craigslist Missed Connections

Today we're coming from Atlanta and Houston. God bless America. And I think it's a full moon at the moment, cos there are some proper nutters out tonight...

Nutter 1. There was another post from this being, more of the same weird shite.
Wickedness, Folly, Wild Hairs:
perpetrators of long-standing, brought to an arrangement to compose, manifest each, willy nilly, involving not only me, but innocent persons dear to me; innocent persons of whom I have no knowledge at all, if, indeed, they have any existence--searching as they do to form alliances with stolen threads in a crewel work of slanders in samplers of monstrous misrepresentations.

fuck you dude indeed.
guy in the white jeep/small SUV on westheimer around 1:15 (Houston)
You were driving like 20 mph while everyone went around you...you made grandiose hand gestures as you spoke on your cell phone...FUCK YOU DUDE. Channel some of that energy to the pedal idiot. I bet you're a lousy fuck too. ttyl!

This is a funny one, full-moon style funny I mean. It's long so I've just got the beginning...
I miss your gulping and crunching - m4w - 30 (Suwanee)
You: The woman I share my office with. It's 4:30 and you've left. I always miss this time when you leave a half hour before me. The office seems so quiet, and I feel like I'm all alone in the world. I can concentrate on my work, and this confuses me. You see, you are a gulper and a cruncher. All liquids that you pour down your gullet are gulped, and all foods that you masticate are cruched.
I believe I have witnessed you crunching pudding before. It is an amazing feat. One that I have grown to be unable to function without while you are gone. I think what I miss most however is your gulping ablities. While you are gone, I have tried to mimic the sounds you produce and have found it quite impossible.
You see it's the volume and the throaty quality that you add, and I am trying - really damned hard. And you do it so effortlessly.

Chicks f*cking LOVE Skeetball.
To my big momma - m4w - 23 (Georgia Tech)
I can't wait to see you at the hockey game, rose in teeth, 24 oz beer in hand. I hope you will come to my autograph booth and pass me your number. Maybe we can meet up at Dave and Busters. I have mad skeetball skillz.

super sized head? How does he get hats to fit?
Me on my knees in front of you...late Thurs/early Fri - m4m (Inserection Cheshire)
I blew you. You have a super sized head, like the way it fit in my throat. Big load also. You wanted to go back to my place but I couldn't. Like to do it again. Any other super cock heads need attention? Send a message!

As ever, saving the best till last... This needs no intro.
Woman with Lactating Breast at Arby's - m4w
Hello there beautiful, You were lactating and were embarrassed. You kept putting you hand in your blouse to catch the milk, and then you would lick the milk off of your hands. Let me know what I was doing by / with the sauces while I was watching you to let me know it is you. I would love to help you with your full breast to stop the stress with my mouth. Dave