Friday, 30 January 2009

Just one more... Thanks to Henry C in London.

I was wrong about England. We ARE deviants.
AB Looking for Daddy - m4m - 28 (London)
Adult Baby son looking for generous Daddy into changing diapers and feeding baby.

More Funny Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Miami, Atlanta, Houston, san Diego

More! Craigslist is like crack to me.

This isn't funny, this is a public service announcement. Always tie down your dog properly.
BLACK DOG on freeway (Cardiff by the Sea)
Anyone witnessing a black dog falling off a truck, or being hit afterward on I5 North at Birmingham, Wed. 1/21/09 approx. 3:15 p.m. please email with information. Thank you.

One day I shall walk up to a man, say the throw-away line 'really nice balls man' then wonder off as if nothing happened. One day.
LA Fitness Roswell - m4m - 32 (Roswell)
Have seen you in the locker room a few times. We are ususally done with our workouts about the same time (very early morning) You look to be in late 20's and your locker is next to mine. Have showered across from each other and you pull the curtain back when drying off. Really nice balls and dick man. Would love to get together. We were both there this morning and your towel fell off (I liked that). Let me know if you see this - long shot I'm sure.

Great name for a song. The message was nothing but the title
Am I bananas or is there a munkey in my head - m4w - 38 (2008)

Just like getting a custom made suit, it fits like a f*cking glove.
MC , Spalding Heights Dr - m4m (Spalding Heights Dr)
This is a long shot, I lost all of your contact info, wish we can get together some time. Last time I came by you told me that my cock was a perfect fit for your ass.

I emailed this guy but had no response yet. my balls actually ache with anticipation, give me money. Maybe my 'financial requirements' were too much?
Need financial assistance? - m4w (N. Fulton)
Maybe I can help. Need to be 18-25 yro, caucasian, fit, and open minded. ;) Send photo and financial requirements.

Nothing tickles me more than a well-polished anus. Um wait that doesn't sound right, errr. O forget it.
Rimmer on Sledge? - m4m - 30 (Houston)
Anyone know who Im talking about? Where is he at? My ass misses him!

Craigslist Missed Connections Thursday and Friday - Miami and Atlanta

Hello, here are some more missed connections, some quite good ones today! Actually, some are from yesterday, but who's counting.
I don't want the poor guy to be too sad, but I don't think he's going to get his CD back...
CARLENA MC - m4w - 36 (atlanta)
we met around 2002 I drove a blue Tahoe we lost contact after you changed jobs from the mall and moved, also do you still have the Usher cd that I gave you?

I had to look up to see what Rosacea was, sounds painful. And yet I laughed when he said his underpants hurt.
Rosacea romance - m4m - 19 (Smyrna CVS)
You were in line for your Rosacea medicine and so was I. We looked at each other. The look bore the pain of two true Rosacea sufferers looking for relief. My Rosacea is so severe that my underpants hurt when I dance. Want to get together? Tell me what I was humming as I ogled you.

Holy f*ck, what a night it must have been! A shattered anus and not even a phone number to show for it.
Lookin' for D'andre Hawkins - m4m - 43 (clearlake)
We were coworkers at a warehouse on the east side. You perfortated my colon.

I don't like to laugh at the way people look, but I look like a trout so I'm allowed to. And it makes me feel big. Cowgirl? Really?
Where is my Cowgirl ? - m4w - 30 (Sugarland)
I tried to email and send pics, but the server kept sending it back to me. Hope this will work, its my last resort in finding you!

I mean honestly, did this happen? Why the hell aren't they hanging around in my town? F*cking repressed British people, I should move.
you exposed yourself at sherlocks pub parking lot - m4w - 27 (Humble)
I was walking toward my car when you and your boyfriend pulled up and you had your legs opened with no panties and your br*asts were exposed, you asked me if I liked what you see, and I replied yes, you told me you wanted to see my c*ck, but i was hesitant because your boyfriend was there too watching, I walked to your side of the car and took it out for you to see, and you started m*sterbating and told me to stroke it, so i did. when you reached out to touch me your boyfriend stepped on the gas and you took off. It was really exciting and if you read this and want to try it again , email me.


Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Wednesday Craigslist Missed Connections

Today we're coming from Atlanta and Houston. God bless America. And I think it's a full moon at the moment, cos there are some proper nutters out tonight...

Nutter 1. There was another post from this being, more of the same weird shite.
Wickedness, Folly, Wild Hairs:
perpetrators of long-standing, brought to an arrangement to compose, manifest each, willy nilly, involving not only me, but innocent persons dear to me; innocent persons of whom I have no knowledge at all, if, indeed, they have any existence--searching as they do to form alliances with stolen threads in a crewel work of slanders in samplers of monstrous misrepresentations.

fuck you dude indeed.
guy in the white jeep/small SUV on westheimer around 1:15 (Houston)
You were driving like 20 mph while everyone went around made grandiose hand gestures as you spoke on your cell phone...FUCK YOU DUDE. Channel some of that energy to the pedal idiot. I bet you're a lousy fuck too. ttyl!

This is a funny one, full-moon style funny I mean. It's long so I've just got the beginning...
I miss your gulping and crunching - m4w - 30 (Suwanee)
You: The woman I share my office with. It's 4:30 and you've left. I always miss this time when you leave a half hour before me. The office seems so quiet, and I feel like I'm all alone in the world. I can concentrate on my work, and this confuses me. You see, you are a gulper and a cruncher. All liquids that you pour down your gullet are gulped, and all foods that you masticate are cruched.
I believe I have witnessed you crunching pudding before. It is an amazing feat. One that I have grown to be unable to function without while you are gone. I think what I miss most however is your gulping ablities. While you are gone, I have tried to mimic the sounds you produce and have found it quite impossible.
You see it's the volume and the throaty quality that you add, and I am trying - really damned hard. And you do it so effortlessly.

Chicks f*cking LOVE Skeetball.
To my big momma - m4w - 23 (Georgia Tech)
I can't wait to see you at the hockey game, rose in teeth, 24 oz beer in hand. I hope you will come to my autograph booth and pass me your number. Maybe we can meet up at Dave and Busters. I have mad skeetball skillz.

super sized head? How does he get hats to fit?
Me on my knees in front of you...late Thurs/early Fri - m4m (Inserection Cheshire)
I blew you. You have a super sized head, like the way it fit in my throat. Big load also. You wanted to go back to my place but I couldn't. Like to do it again. Any other super cock heads need attention? Send a message!

As ever, saving the best till last... This needs no intro.
Woman with Lactating Breast at Arby's - m4w
Hello there beautiful, You were lactating and were embarrassed. You kept putting you hand in your blouse to catch the milk, and then you would lick the milk off of your hands. Let me know what I was doing by / with the sauces while I was watching you to let me know it is you. I would love to help you with your full breast to stop the stress with my mouth. Dave

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Tuesday Craigslist Missed Connections Jan 09

Observations this week... Any LA Fitness gym in Atlanta or Miami is guaranteed to be a terrifying world, with men constantly flashing their c*cks at each other in the sauna. This is what the adverts lead me to believe anyway. Also, chicks dig men in Ford F150 and F250 trucks. So there you go, a top tip. Join LA Fitness if you like boys, buy a Ford truck if you like girls.

Love yourself, you're f*cking fantastic.
Every morning - w4m - 99 (Watercloset)
Every morning I pass and I see you. Tall, dark, handsome, a bit of a "five o'clock shadow, dreamy/sleepy eyed, God!, just so hot and steamy! I fix us some breakfast, rub all over, and then I realize I'm looking at myself in the mirror and it's time to wake up and go to work. I'll call me sometime. Maybe I can hook up. Maybe even give myself some money or take me somewhere nice.

Pirate dating. Aaaaarrggghhhh.
Joes on juniper - m4m - 27
i was sitting to your 3 o'clock wearing grey. you had an eyepatch. i went to give you my number when everyone was leaving, but alas all i have now is craigslist.

In these modern times, should a Haiku really be limited to a certain number of syllables? This person says not. And I support that. This is a Haiku FOR THE PEOPLE. Take that, elitist scummers.
I Wrote a haiku For You..........
Every week for the entire month of January.....Youve had a body ache of some sort and so have I. I dont' know when we can see each other again...... I never worry you wont be back around one day.....if only in my dreams one day to make me smile.

This is a first! A cup of coffee has placed a post on Craigslist, looking for it's previous owner. Please, I just want to feel your steelius grip on my smooth cardboard skin. Mmmmmm oooooo. Yeah more sugar.
Rice Coffee House [Paul?] - m4m - 22 (Rice University)
You: tall, durty blonde, striking features. man.
Me: tall, skim latte, double shot, hazlenut flavor.
You wore a pink hat with a white fuzz ball. It read "Tim," but i think your name is Paul. Do you remember me? After midnight you walked downstairs to the bar and I followed you. You smiled at me. I was wearing the red sweater vest.
Rice Coffee House [Paul?] - m4m - 22 (Rice University)

His pen1s can juggle 4 oranges. Seriously, it's awesome.
South beach saturday nite - m4m
To the man who stood by me at the urinal and gave me a little show - thanks! Would love to see more of you sometime.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Monday Craigslist Missed Connections

A new week begins, and this week the theme is... Nude yoga. Nude yoga seems to be the place for men to gaze up other mens' bums while shifting energy around their body. But not to the pen*s of course, that would just be embarassing.

The regular response poster 'Asshpol1s' wrote the below post. I can't help but think he may have a point.
nude yoga missed connections (Assholopolis)
If you can go to a gay nude yoga "class" and still not have the nuts to talk to that other naked gay guy sitting next to you, maybe it is time to reconsider your commitment to the c0ck.

The bendiest, most flexible gang-bang in history.
Cirque Du Soleil - m4m - 23 (Atlantic Station)
Any/Every male performer in Cirque Du Soleil. Sneak away from rehearsal sometime! White young top here.

Hairy ankles. One of the stranger turn-ons I've heard this week.
Mexican dude at Fellini's Pizza Roswell Road - m4m - 27
I was having lunch today 11:30 and you were folding pizza boxes. You were wearing low cut dark orange (?) chucks and low cut white socks. Your hairy ankles and short pants caught my eye and - to tell the truth - gave me a b0ner. You smiled a lot. What you don't know is that I would have willingly gone into the bathroom with you and s*cked you dry.

Ahhhhh. Everything is cute when you're in love. Like lifting up a butt cheek to fart on the bus. Ahhhhhhhhh...
Met you farting on the bus - m4m - 21 (Atlanta)
You: blonde and slight;y cross eyed. You were listening to your Ipod and farting to the beat. The other riders were upset but I dug the way you lifted your cheek and let those farts sneak. Tell me what you were listening to? Thanks, Sniffer.

This is a post that was written for EVERY SINGLE MAN this Friday and Saturday night.
Saturday night bar hopping - m4m (EAV)
Sorry for being inappropriate. I don't drink that much that often and I don't want you to think that was indicative of my normal behavior. I'm actually a pretty reserved person, in that regard. Anyway, I enjoyed meeting you and hope to see you around again sometime.

And finally, romance isn't dead. It's just been brought up to date to include an@l-tearing.
aquarium - fist bitch - m4m - 35 (ATL)
you: s&p curly hair, thin, not sure of the rest since you're usually face down me: black buzzed hair, built, thick dick, big hands, hard fucker saw you at the aquarium saturday about 3 p.m. haven't seen you in a while. know you like my dick and the way i work over your hole. okay, maybe i'm a bit aggressive when i'm almost FFing you. write me back and we'll meet up at the place where i do your hole.

Who the hell is this written too?? 30,000 people across Atlanta are squeezing their groins in anticipation.
I know you like it
I used to love being the chick in hand cuffs... but it would seem we will be switching roles soon... dont worry, I will bring the blindfold... I know you like it

This is a pretty awesome post. Do get to the end. It just shows, b*stards get their b@lls licked.
You flipped me off at Noe and 17th - m4m - 45 (castro / upper market)
My car had just been vandalized in a shocking and unsettling way and I was on my way to the police station to report the incident. I was also lighting a cigarette when I pulled out into the intersection, and at the last minute realized that you and a friend were crossing the street. Thankfully you were both paying attention and stopped several feet short. Knowing myself to be entirely at fault, I shot you an "I'm sorry" look and held up my hands in a gesture universally understood to convey apology. You responded with a one-fingered salute. Of course, you were under no obligation to accept my apology, but I wonder what it must be like to have a flawless record of mistake-free driving that entitles you to be so self-righteous.

But you were also very cute and I will be happy to provide an apology blow job.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Freaks of the States UNITE!

Thanks to Sara for these missed connections from a bunch of different cities. Just goes to show that nutters don't all come from Atlanta. They come from Houston and San Francisco too.

I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?

Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....

Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.

An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks

I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)

Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.

The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!

This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted

I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?

The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!

THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.

Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.

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Thursday, 22 January 2009

Craigslist Missed Connections Thursday - Miami and Atlanta

Yeah work that walking machine, ooo yeah PUMP mmmm. Gosh.
L.A. Fitness Ansley Mall - Crazy Elliptical Guy - m4m (Midtown ATL)
u were goin nuts on the elliptical today and it made me fuckin horny. I wonder if you're single?

It's not so weird, lots of people like to wear diapers. Honest.
Does Any Twinks Like - 18 (atl)
To Be Made To Wear Diapers

And holy shit! on the same day, in the same town, another diaper wearer! This must be fate... maybe I should put them in touch with each other.
Anyone into wearing diapers - - m4m - 19 (atk)
Any Hottie's Have A Diaper fetish

I laughed at this just because of the book store name. I'm assuming it's a porn book store. Called 'Happy Books'. Genius.

Anyone? Anyone please f*ck me?
Hotties in the Burrito House! (Chipolte - GA 9 & Mansell)
Am I the only one to notice how freekin hot the latino men are who work at the Chipolte in Roswell? OMG! I nearly melt everytime I go in there. Are any, ANY of them gay or bi?

I love the sheer BALLS on this dude! Why have an age limit if it's going to be your job?
Massage for 21-55 woman only, FREE BACK / Neck Massage - m4w - 27 (Miami / Broward)
Your house or we can meet in a public place, its up to you. I am very skilled but not licensed yet. The only reason is because I am shy and I wanted to make sure I would be confortable massaging strangers. This will help me gain confidence and than I will apply and pay for the expensive license. The massage is free but you can give me a TIP of any amount if you like. Or you can give me a back massage of your own if you like, or lunch on you. Email me, Woman only please I don't mind massaging guys, but all the guys on craigslist or gay or perves

2 minutes later he changes his mind, 21 is too old, let's shift the age a little...
FREE Massage for Woman 30- 65 only, Free Neck/Back Massage - m4w - 27 (N. Dade / S. Broward)
The massage is free but you can give me a TIP of any amount if you like. Or you can give me a back massage of your own if you like, or lunch on you. Email me, Woman only please I don't mind massaging guys, but all the guys on craigslist or gay or perves Your house or we can meet in a public place, its up to you. I am very skilled but not licensed yet. The only reason is because I am shy and I wanted to make sure I would be confortable massaging strangers. This will help me gain confidence and than I will apply and pay for the expensive license. Javier

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Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday - Miaaaaaami

I said it yesterday, I'll say it again. People on Craigslist in Miami are confident. I guess that's a good way to put it... And while we're discussing Miami, I'd like to thank a Brooke H - 37, for posting a picture of his c0ck, with what looked like an arab strap attached. I opened the page unsuspectingly at work and screamed as i tried to get the bl0ody thing off my screen. I've not had a warning mail from work so I may have got away with it, we'll see...

New rule for me with this stuff. Don't open ones with pictures at work! Right, back to business.

He recognised you AFTER? AFTER??? Imagine if it'd been his brother or something! Chr1st.
Saturday afternoon Club Baths - m4m
Your room was across from mine. I said that you looked like you needed some help with that. After we f*cked you recognized me.... wanna play again?

So he randomly wandered into your room? Again, I'm stunned.
Clubhouse II - Sunday Afternoon - m4m
This is a long shot but what the h*ll. You came in my room and f*cked me face down for a little while. Told you I needed a little break but wanted you to come back. You had a nice BIG c0ck and I wanted more. Would love to go at it with you again. I was in a room in the first hallway. Tell me what room i was in so i'll know it was you.

Now THIS is a man who knows what he wants. And he wants it NOW!
Dicey Riley's Late Sat. Night Jan. 17 - m4w - 33 (Las Olas)
You put out my cigarette, I guessed your nationality, you never gave me your number, how much money do you owe me?

I love the stream of conciousness style of writing, try to find the point that it stops being in English.

Hahahahahaha another man with focus and drive.
Was it really you???????????? - 99 (dreams)
I saw you come out of the bathroom with coke on your nose. You winked at me and we exchanged glances from across the room. You drank about 13 Jagerbombs in 2 hours and passed out on the hostess stand. Doesn't coke keep you awake? You had a horrible b0ob job and your face was peeled back so far it was back in the parking lot.You were wearing heavy blue eyeshadow, a plaid evening gown, and teased blonde-frosted hair. Now you are MY kinda gal. Tell me what I was wearing. Let's meet!

Didn't anyone tell you? Superman is dead.
Superman (not where you are)
Please call. At the very least I deserve a private conversation....

Put your loaf down.
Asian Guy on Bike at Davie Publix (Davie)
You were riding your bike, came into the store and bought a loaf of white bread. We made eye contact a couple of times; you seem very shy. If you see this, write me back. I've got my own loaf of white bread for you .....

One of the most surreal first conversations ever? If it was me, I'd be a little wary, but hey! Fuck it! Throw caution to the wind! Being locked in a dungeon might be your thing.
Dog walking flamingo on the 12th - m4w - 40 (Miami Beach)
You walked your dog, gave way to me - I talked and asked what you would do if I stepped on him... you said you would kill me tht would be the least, but before you would torture me... I came back a few minutes later and said I decide to take the dog... you laughed...... My name is christoph - I missed to ask you if your dog had a facebook site! Please contact me

And last but not least. Me being a child again. 'I ate your b*tt'. Classic.
Hollywood Spice Adult Bookstore - m4m - 39 (Hollywood)
We shared a gloryhole booth yesterday. I ate your b*tt as you got pleasured thru the hole. You left quickly when you were done. I would like to hook up again. Get back to me and let me know what I was wearing.

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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

On Wednesday we visit Miami...

I'm trying to explore the more interesting towns in Craigslist, tomorrow we'll have a look at Miami. Holy sh1t the streets of Miami must flow with cum, these people are grubby. Actually that's not fair. The people from Miami that post on Craiglist are grubby. And I love them for it.

A taster...

I mean really? And this is a tame one compared to some!
hot bear bartender PJ's - m4m - 30 (Ft Lauderdale)
to the hot bartender at PJ's bar, I see those big b@lls swinging, and I snuck a peek at you pissing(thank god for open windows)nice thick c0ck, I want you realy bad!!!! let me know if your interested.

Tuesday Craigslist Missed Connections

I'm feeling particularly childish today. I even sniggered at one ad that mentioned 'boobie', it's becoming a concern. But hey! Loads to check! A mix of Atlanta and some place in South Carolina...

Possible newspaper headline 'Local butcher tried to sell produce in gym'. I like that there seem to be Craigslist regulars! Funny, and yet terrifying. Wait a minute, I read it each day. O sh1t.
re: hot black male at LAF Toco around 1:30 - m4m
LOLThat same dude was at LAF Buckhead around 4:30pm - shaved head, green pants - trying to wave his meat in the sauna and showers. Only thing was, LAF Buckhead was full of fat guys and trolls at that time.

I'm a child, it shouldn't make me laugh but it did. I'm sorry.
Handy Man - m4w
Any body need there plumbing serviced. I make service calls. North Ga, Cherokee,cobb.

Recommended car repairs and servicing agent in Charleston.
BJ outside Voodoo Lounge - m4w - 27 (JI)
you: gorgeous Asian chick--we made eye contact--went outside--you serviced me in my car THEN YOU SPLIT! I couldn't find you the rest of the night--would love to hook up again

Seriously, I'm like 5 years old. Anything mentioning cable is funny.
Cable Guy - m4m - 25
Recently installed my cable, you were very nice and cute with a firm handshake. Get back to me if you remember me.

Underwear-free salmon smuggler spotted. Reward for capture.
Fisherman - m4m - 45 (Summer's Bend dock )
I know the chances of you reading this are slim to none but I'm getting hard just thinking of you and writing this. You were on the dock fishing and we talked about fishing for awhile. You hooked me for sure. I could tell you were not wearing underwear and you are large in the crouch. I think you caught me looking?

It seems so normal... Chat in a rest area, have a w@nk in front of another dude.
Rest Area - m4m
You and I talked at the rest area and you jerked off for me. Tell me what kind of hat I was wearing. Would like to hook up.

blip - 66 (charleston)
blip blip

How many different types of fr1cking beans are there? Beans?? Seriously? He was hunting for her bean. Sorry again, that was crap.
Price Wise - m4w (Hanahan)
You were the chick stocking! I asked you where the beans were... what kinda beans was i looking for?

Best name for a pig EVER. And how many people have pet pigs I ask??
Moe's Rutledge Ave. - m4m - 23 (Downtown Chas., SC)
I saw you and your two friends eating lunch today at Moe's. You were the one wearing shorts and the white T-shirt with circles on the top right shoulder. You had an iPhone. We made eye contact a couple times and I felt a connection. I've never got on craigslist b4, but heard y'all talkin about it and thought i'd give it a try. Overheard your friend talkin about a pet pig. I have a pet pig. His name is Wilbur. Tell me what I was wearing, or just drop me a line!

Monday, 19 January 2009

Monday Craigslist Missed Connections

Soap-sniffing is the new speed-dating.
Pier One, Ansley Mall Sunday - m4m - 50 (Ansley Mall)
We sniffed soap bars are very enigmatic.....

I want to marry my Dentist - m4w (Buckhead)
I'm so insanely into my Dentist that it's crazy! Holy hell. I'm looking into getting my teeth checked/cleaned every 2 weeks now, rather than every 6 months. Thanks, Doc! I'll be seeing you soon!

Does the 'special drink' contain Rohypnol? And has any man ever scored a girl by telling them their daughter is hot?
Looking for hot Duck - 51 (L'ville)
Never knew "the Duck" had so many beutiful women,hopeing to find hot mom who was with hot daughter! Bartender smytine by your beauty at your company party on Saturday night. Would love to talk you more,you have a fun outlook on life to go with that hot body. Hope you see & get back to me. Love to make you another of my special drink.

Genius. I have so many questions. Is Intersection lubing the new thing? Lubed standing at the intersection or in a car? Why would you be lubed in a car? Why would you be lubed at an intersection?
Roswell Rd. Inserection - m4m - 38
We played were lubed up..would like to get together soon.

Coming on pretty strong I reckon, although that could just be me...
Your Dekalb Farmers Market - w4m - 25
I saw you on Saturday afternoon. You were eating alone at the hot bar then we ran into each other in the dairy section. I love you. Hold me?

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Sunday Craigslist Missed Connections

Any man will do...
Ridiculously Hot Guys in Hooters at Cumberland Mall !!! - m4m
I was at Hooters near Cumberland Mall tonight checking out the awesome UFC fights with my buddies. I could barely enjoy the fights due to all of the super hot guys that were walking around the place! Im a bi guy and the chicks were hot too, but the guys definitely won this bout! If any of you wanna meet up, hit me back, with pics (if possible) and we can set something up! Rich Franklin was ROBBED!!!

I love the self confidence.
Desperately Seeking Heather - m4w - 48 (Atlanta)
You - rental agent working properties near stadium Me - master cunn1lguist, 420 friendly. We should have hooked up in December but did not. I want you desperately. Email me and let's connect today.

I have an announcement to make...
tony college guy - m4m - 43 (atlanta)
f*cked you at cheshire motor lodge then again at euros last sunday you are hot as hell

I'm f*cking AWESOME, I'll lick your spam. Love the picture.
real women in shape WANTED for swet, steamy,hotty massage - m4w - 36 (cobb)
please be real and dont send SPAM LIKS,, all spam will be baned and reported

Today's Missed Connections was a little disappointing, but then this came along. Holy cow.
Russian guy waving a big uncut meat in the JeJu sauna - m4m - 27
About 2pm Sunday - you came in the dry sauna, said you were partying hard last night and had to exfoliate - we talked about saunas in different cities and you asked, "Can you do anything in those saunas?" Then you flopped your f0reskin a bit and smiled. I played with my f0reskin, too, then that ugly fat @ss old man walked in. You left and lounged on the chairs awhile in one of those nifty orange outfits, and I had to leave, sorry. Sure would like to meet up and play, if you're around and you see this.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Saturday Missed Connections

Pumps you full of his seed? Crumbs...
you're too smart for me to prove it but the cum stains on your panties tell me at least part of the picture. You've also stepped up your self awareness of your appearance in clothing and make up. You're overly happy these days as well and spending time meeting "friends" in the evening much more often than in the past. It's no wonder he is helping you wherever he can. You're or bad bitch, worthy of only the best. I just want you to know that not only am I ok with this, but it gives me a huge thrill. He's snipped and probably pumps you full of his seed regularly. Why won't you let me in onthe secret or at least give me some clues. You'll probably never see this but if you stumble across it, write me and come clean about your undercover adventures. It could really heat things up.

Packing a nice what?
LA Fitness - m4m - 35 (Toco Hills)
Did anyone else see the hottie in the locker room in the blue CK briefs this afternoon? Wow, he was packing a nice pouch! I know he saw me staring as I finished getting dressed. Wish I'd had the nerve to at least say hello.

Terrifying attention to detail...
Visually appealing is all I kept thinking as I struggled to order my lunch while quietly appreciating you. You were tending bar at the Applebee’s in Jonesboro this afternoon. I was attracted to you smooth yellow skin and long black hair. You were wearing all black and I noticed the tattoo that you have above your left breast. I think a woman with glasses is sexy and you looked even better when you let them rest on your head. I was there between 12:30 and 2pm. I should have said something or at the very least introduced myself. If you don’t see this I will be back another day to try my hand. You did it for me, and I’m sure there is a lot more to you.

Am I being a cynical bugger in thinking this ad is a little disturbing?
were looking for young married couples that want to hang out. we just moved and are looking to find fun couples that driink and ave kids to hang out and go out when the kids have sitters. let us know were very hot couple and fun open to anything les u sknow!!!!!! we want couples with kids that can get out all the time and would like to hang out with kids somethimes

Perfectly normal ad, but is the picture the writer??
I see you almost everyday. Saw you last night while I was out, are you ever going to ask me out?

Boy Wonder cups the balls, Batman goes to town...
Bat Signal - m4m - 40 (Atlanta)
Looking to re-connect with Batman, the Boy Wonder, or FiendishOneAtl.

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Friday, 16 January 2009

Friday Craigslist Missed Connections cont.

Today is a good day for Atlanta...

Cheese anyone? - m4w - 26 (Poncey )
Your girlfriend is gorgeous. The way she arches when you kiss the small of her back is phenomenal. We should have some baked Gruyere cheese sometime. If you're not interested, close the blinds to your bedroom window.

It's your personality I like...

Good time-keeping is important...
Town Center Belks - m4m
Looking for the guy who sucked me off at Belks today around 3:45

What's a woman got to do to get laid she asks?
Missed Connection with Men in General - w4m - 34 (East Atlanta)
Why do you ask for my phone number and then not call? Why do you set up a date and then not follow through? Why do you monopolize me for an entire night and then act like it never happened the next day? Did you hope I'd go home with you that night and since I didn't, you decided that I didn't matter? Konw that when you do this it hurts me. How can I think you're not like the others when my past experience has taught me otherwise? How can I believe or even hope that you might be different? What's a woman got to do to get laid?!

And the reply this lady got?...
RE: Missed Connection with Men in General (A*sholopolis)
That's pretty much how we treat all fat girls. Put the twinkie down and buy a treadmill.

The male gender is a savage one...

I like this. Someone with less to do than me.
Old Mcdonalds had a Farm... - m4w - 27 (Marietta)

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Friday Craigslist Missed Connections

Looking for a man from Wisconsin. Any man will do...
Wisconsin guys at the Eagle - m4m - 38 (Eagle)
You guys from Wisconsin are are hot, looked for you but you disappeared.

Women, show us your tits...
Whats upp pwoplw - m4w - 21 (????)
I had an idea. this is a missed connection. If you think you can quess who I am send me an e-mail. Breast pics accepted also.

This one has a very sweet title, but then he talks @nal. C*ck in to the hilt? Awesome...
I miss you, H - m4w - 58 (Stone Mountain)
I miss you H. You were so right, H. We had something great going on and i ruined it. Please forgive me. I haven't had great sex since you. You were terrific in everything. Your bl*wjobs were exquisite. When you sat on on my c*ck and went to town you blew my mind. And when you turned up your b*tt and allowed me to sink my c*ck in your @sshole to the hilt I went crazy. Don't know why I was so stupid. I have talked to your sister several times to find you. I still miss you and love you. Please write.

Please can someone tell me what being 'eiffel tower-ed' means? Things change so fast these days... Sweet poem though.
to the boy who eiffel tower-ed me last night at cenci (cenci)
i think you're really cute.
sometimes i get lost in your eyes.
you've got the moves.
and you've got this sh*t on lock down.
you ride bikes. and want a motorcycle.
which is pretty cool i guess.
your roomates are pretty awesome, and i like to hang at the burning tree and beat the sh*t out of guitar hero drums with spoons.
speaking of spoons, i hope there is still some cake left so you can feed it to me later. you're my lucky # 13 even if you are a bit of a jerk sometimes, but hey.
we all have our flaws. yours is that you like me.

to the point...
to the person who wrote my phone number on the bathroom wall at soco
i hate you.

Chocolate Thunder. I will say no more...
the BIGGEST LOSER casting call several months ago at WILD BILLS - m4w - 34 (GWINNETT wild bills)
we stood in line you were right behind me once we made it inside we were selected for the same tryout group anyway i forgot your name but you said your nickname was "chocolate thunder" you turned me on i wanted to ask for your email or phone number but i was just too shy we talked and laughed but i didnt make the move if i could meet you again i'd like to make the move this time you told me everyone needs some chocolate thunder in there life and i thought to myself, yeah i'd love some chocolate thunder all over me you were tall and so am i you were sexy and so am i i felt chemistry but didnt act on it i'd love to spend some time with you i've been craving your chocolate. tell me who i was there with and i will know its you
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Craigslist Missed Connections - The Beginning

The yanks know Craigslist, but for the rest of you...

Craigslist is a posting website, where anyone can sell what they like, advertise for love (i.e. find a hooker), find a place to live or whatever. The Missed Connections section is for missed encounters, so if you saw someone you fancied in Wallmart, you can post that you saw that person in the queue and want to meet up. Who knows, maybe they'll see it! You might get lucky after all!

Or maybe you'll get some smug British man making fun of you.

One rule - I never reply to the posts, these Craigslist people don't need encouraging. Don't encourage them either, unless you're genuinely the person they searching for.

After indepth analysis of all the USA towns and cities (done by someone else, I'm busy! can't you tell?), the favourite by far is... Atlanta. My new best town ever. Let's get the ball rolling...