Friday, 23 January 2009

Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Freaks of the States UNITE!

Thanks to Sara for these missed connections from a bunch of different cities. Just goes to show that nutters don't all come from Atlanta. They come from Houston and San Francisco too.

I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?

Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....

Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.

An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks

I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)

Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.

The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!

This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted

I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?

The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!

THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.

Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.

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