Craigslist Missed Connections Tuesday

Personal Ads are fun until you wake up with your balls in your mouth

I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....

Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++

More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #

Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM

Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)

The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.