Poetry poetry, o my love etc etc

Fuck me, today Atlanta was obsessed with writing poems for people that they're too scared to ask out in person. Come on pussies, grow some balls! I didn't put any of them in here because they were boring.

This guy stole all my best lines. Breeding koalas?
Your Grampa Invented Legos
We met at the USA Sevens on Saturday and you stored my number in your friends phone. You were fresh off the boat from Australia; I was the blond girl dressed in red, chillin with the cute asian girl. You claimed that your grandfather invented Legos (I doubted the validity of that claim, but thought that you were fun anyways... very easy on the eyes.). You also said that your friend's father breeds koalas. This is also doubtful, but regardless, I'd like to hang out again.

Not such an unusual advert on Craigslist, except they left out some important info, man or woman?
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE NAKED (YOUR PLACE)
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE BUTT NAKED!! CHEAP RATES!! YOUR PLACE WILL BE SHINING AND YOU GET TO HAVE FUN!!

Awesome band name.
seeking goth girl at the NY comic con who had ur breasts signed - m4w (Greenwich Village)
you are awesome. check out my band, it's called Wormcult i'm on teh myspace

I'm not sure what you call a person who wants to have sex with trees, but I'm sure it exists. Any ideas people?
Home Depot Garden Dept, 6:30 pm - m4m - 50 (Coral Springs)
You: 6'1", probably 220", wearing a red longsleeved tshirt and driving a white BMW crossover Me: behind you in line at the outside register wearing an ugly purple shirt and red plaid shorts. I left in my white VW. Obviously I was playing golf earlier, hence the ugly clothes. You are too hot for my oven. I'd like to pour some of my palm tree fertilizer on you and see what grows or sprouts.

For years the popular British pass-time, 'dogging', hasn't taken off in the USA. Are we seeing the beginnings of something new and beautiful?
Haulover Beach Parking Lot (Haulover Nude Beach)
You walked up and peeked into our car while my girlfriend and I were fooling around after a day at the nude beach Sunday. You took your time changing at the car next to us. Did you like what you saw? Let me know what kind of cars you and I were driving and what you did as we pulled off so I know it's you.

This is the sort of message where he probably clicked 'confirm', then wondered what the hell he was thinking posting on Craigslist.
COUCH GUY - m4m (DOWNTOWN )
I GOT THE COUCH BUT GOT REAL NERVOUS WHEN I SAW YOU AND LOCKED EYES. IM EVEN ASKING MYSELF WHY AM I WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW AS I SPEAK FROM MY HEAD,,, OK I SOUND CRAZY..

I like honesty.
I'm the ugliest guy on the Canarsie line - m4w - 24 (Bushwick)
But I've got wheels, and you want to go for a ride.

I just liked the person's name...
looking for Veronica Crump... - 43 (Lithonia)
Someone here must know Veronica Crump. Please let her know that I am looking for her. Thanks.

A brilliant advert, a great way to end the day.
I am man, I saw you woman, you looked and smiled! - m4w - 29 (Atlanta South to Macon)
If you are a woman that has had a sexual thought about a man lately and wondered if he would give you an orgasm or not? Then call me, cause I will and I am not that picky. Call: seven seven Ohhhhhhhhh, six six six, six six thirtytwo. I can come to you. I am 6'1" and white, 210 lbs, not fat, fairly athletic, with a high sex drive.

Personal ad marriage proposal - good idea?

My favourite insult in Craigslist Missed Connections today was f*cktard tw@t.

Someone with more time to d1ck about than me replies to an earlier Craigslist advert.
Ref: PUBLIX..TALL BLACK MAN, SHAVED HEAD, ORANGE? SHIRT THURS 2/5 - w4
I saw you, you were the nasty looking ho who kept staring at me. Contact me, I think I can make some money off you over on MLK if I clean you up a bit. Yea, you know I love you Baby...

I've not worked out who this is written to. Maybe he just wants to tell the world 'I LOVE T1TS!'
Miss looking at my buddy's wife - m4w (Houston)
My wife and I went on a vavcation with our friends...we eventually got the wifes to get topless on the beach. My buddy's wife had the most perfect set of t1ts. I got to jack off to them that evening. I sure miss looking at them! Too bad we could not be with them several weekends ago...think we might have swapped wifes! SH1T!

I'm not going to be mean about this one, it's sweet I think. I love the heart-ripping reference. MORTAL COMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
i'm really missing you - m4w - 22 (sugar land)
you ripped out my heart like you were kano from mortal kombat I want it back

I wonder why he hasn't succeeded so far. Possibly the repeated assaults on her booty might be a factor?
Indian Girl on the B Train - m4w - 26 (Brooklyn)
You bumped into me on the B train. I touched your b*tt a few times but you didnt turn around :( I would like to touch it again....)

Um. eh? Picture included.
Unit: Android. Status: Tinkering. - m4w - 27 (Greenpoint)
Environment: Sopping Wet.
Olfactory: Biodiesel and WVO fumes.
Culprit: Hippiepants.


This has some amazing pun work, and I love the use of moobs. Never until now have I seen 'moobs' used in a sexual way.
Re: On Your Porch - m4m - 26 (Inwood Forest)
I had a great time too. All I got to say is we need to get baby oil, rip the sheets off of the waterbed, and rasttle naked. I can't wait to feel your moobs. I don't think my bf would mind, he likes to watch. I will dust off the sling in the attic and bust out the liquid latex for a great night in...and out...and back in again. Cum over and lets finger it out!

And finally... one of the most half-@rsed, crushingly sh1t marriage proposals I've ever seen.
my playmate
will u marry me

Craigslist Missed Connections Tuesday

Personal Ads are fun until you wake up with your balls in your mouth

I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....

Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++

More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #

Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM

Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)

The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.

Craigslist MC Monday

Best introduction name ever.
BLACK JEEP peidomnt christmas time - m4m - 43 (pidmont road)
met on peidmont raod at chrismas me italian cock sucker

So many obvious gags, extra meat with your taco etc.
Ever Horny at Taco Mac off East West Connector? - 22 (Austell)
I'm a server at Taco Mac is austell and see hot guys all day. Ever think you server is worth some fun send their name and If im them then we can play.

Pretty scary thing to happen on a Friday night... And there was a response too... Note man for woman.
You possibly saved me Friday night - m4w - 27 (Highlands)
I woke up bruised and bloody with a face full of marks. How I got them, I do not know and am hoping you can fill me in. It has been two days and the pain gets worse. My roommate overheard us talking as you left my front steps, without that I would not have even known you existed. This was around 3:30am. So, did you find me face down somewhere? did you run me over with a car? Were we walking together and I just tripped? I don't think any kind of fight, no blackeyes. My hands are fine, I didn't even try to catch myself. Please help me piece together the night. I remember absolutely nothing.

A reply to the above - potentially this person is the biggest head-fucker ever.
re...You possibly saved me Friday night - m4w - 27 (Highlands) (you were drunk )
OH !!wow!! yes i remember you ...we were all out drinking you were really drunk from what they had told me you were in the mens room looking at some guys private parts and he got mad & hit you ..gosh i hope your ok ...

This is brilliant, just brilliant. Yup throw that leg up like a dog ho! Or something equally ghetto.
THE PARTY AT BOONDOCKS - m4w - 25 (713)
LOL I NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE SO HER GOES. U WAS AT BOONDOCKS LAST SATURDAY DANCIN ONA CHAIR ROCKIN SUM BLACK SHORTS WIT A FAT AZZ[ONION BOOTY] THROWIN YA STANKIE LEGG UP GRL I SMELL IT WUS GOOD LEME KNO!!

This is graphic, I apologise. But in my book @nal warts are always funny. ALWAYS.
for the guy that f*cked me BB and later told me he was married - m4m - 27 (somewhere in Houston)
so I met you, I liked you, you liked me...We drank and drank all night long. You asked if you could come over, I agreed.. Because I was soooo drunk I let u f*ck me BB, before you left the next morning, you mentioned your wife and kids might be worried about your whereabouts. Although I did enjoy very much when u stuck ur meat pole up my sfincter all bare and gave me that manly geez that dripped down my b*tt cr@ck.. I should probably be honest myself and tell you to tell your wife not to worry about your whereabouts, but to worry more about the WARTS that appeared on my @sshole a week after you f*cked me raw.. please advice her that u have been f*cking gay boys raw and she might have some warts in her V@gina.. My best regards, the herpes in the @nus holding d*mbass...

Ummmmm?
Just talk to me already
I am a giraffe. a married giraffe that is. you are a rhino. we live within the same zoo. we did it and now you wont talk to me. I am sad. I am pregnant with our baby girhino. I never done it with a rhino before. why wont you talk to me. this board is crazy. cmon people.

Awesome justification at the end, a fist in the @rse in very healthy. And no flash photography please, it makes my buttocks look rubbish.
"on a whim fisting party" - m4m - 73
Just woke up from a nap and I'm horny. If i get more than 4 repsonses I'll host a fisting party in my condo. A little about me : 5'9, 160. balding with blue eyes. I do ask that you bring one canned food item per fist plunge so we can help achieve something positive in the process. All canned goods will be donated to a charity of your choice. I have a sling, dildoes, porn and popcorn if you're hungry. Age race not an issue but please have arms. Also no cameras allowed as the flash tends to not flatter my buttocks. (it's been a while since I've tanned). This can fun, healthy and worthwhile. Thanks.

Funny Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday

Houston, Miami and old faithful Atlanta dazzled me today. People seemed too be weird today. Is it a full moon?

What a compliment.
Oh Mary - m4w (Rktqnspace)
The one who's not so hairy...

Boobers. my word of the day.
poops! (To the left)
i wanna drink jager from your boobers...

A vicious reply to an initial post. Yet another reason why posting on Craigslist is insane.
RE:Former Coworker - Slow day - m4w - 36 (Westchase)
I know who you both are and I am about to rat you two out, after all you both deserve to be if you are going to cheat on your spouses!

This person should be in a ward. A locked ward.
To the fortune hunters looking for attention,
keep on keeping the pigeons cozy in the old underpants, releasing them occasionally to bring you back a few pussy willows to garnish the scrambled eggs you serve yourself each day.

A great response to an earlier ad. Finally someone posts a reason why they don't want to hook up with a person who looks for them on Craigslist.
Ref: you kept looking at me at joe's coffee - m4w (east atlanta)
Of course I kept looking at you, you were picking your nose, looking at your fingers and licking them, yuck. And what's with that pink shirt and spiked dyed hair? I left because I was afraid you might come over near me..

And of course I can't go a day without being amused by the gays ads. I may be missing the point here, but it seems to me that if you're gonna bum a guy through a glory hole then you really must think they're ugly. I don't understand.
MASC GLORYHOLE GUY/ INSERECTION - m4m - 36 (ATLANTA)
HEY MAN, YOU TOLD ME TO MEET YOU AFTER WORK AT INSERCTION AT LINBERGH, THE NEW ONE THATS BEEN REDONE IN THE BACK.. THANKS FOR SUCKING ME OFF, MY WIFE NOT GOOD AT IT AND I WOULD LIKE A REGULAR. (CONSTRUCTION GUY HERE) TELL ME WHAT I WAS WEARING, LIKE TO MEET YOU AGAIN, DO YOU EVER BOTTOM THROUGH THAT HOLE? LET ME KNOW.. WHAT TIME DID WE MEET AND WHERE DID WE PARK IF THIS IS YOU.

Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday

Today the theme seemed to be men turned on by farting women in Houston. Yes, it really was.

New modelling and entertainment company huh? Looking for models huh? Sure I believe you.
Lookn 4 Real Woman - 19 (Georgia)
I Have A entertainment Company Thats Coming Up And We Are Lookn For Up And Coming Dancers And Models Get At Me If You Wanna Be Down

This girl he's looking for sounds kind of great. I'd marry any girl that told me that I 'want that burrito up my @ss like a f*ggot bitch'. Wow.
You called him midget Dik - m4w - 29 (Humble)
You were at Taco Bell on Sunday afternoon wearing a LV Cashmere sweater and long blond hair with some tight spandex pants. You were with a much older man that Resembled Mr. Rogers , which I thought was your dad but ended up being your boyfriend you kept staring at me and when I sat down you sat doen right across from me, I kept hearing you talking to him calling him names like midget d1k and frog lips, you even called him sausage face, you kept degrading him and I think he liked it, especially when you told him if he wants that burrito up his @ss like a f*ggot b1tch he is. Anyways y, too make a long story short I really digged you and want to know if you want to go out and do something this weekend. I was the one wearing the bycicle shorts and yellow shirt, and No that wasnt a banana in my pocket I was just excited to see you. : )

Nothing special here, except he has a profile on an amusing sounding site.
Galleria Mall - m4m - 22 (Atlanta)
We chatted a bit outside the mall. Name is Ben you were Brent. I think we should get to know each other, you're very cute. I have a pfoile on DowntownDudes.com, hit me up there

I don't care what anyone says, farting is funny. Girls farting is even funnier. Girls farting in men's faces by mistake? Life-affirming.
You Passed Gas While Dancin At Chayn's - m4w (Houston)
The smell actually turned me on. Would love to see you again...

And last, but definitely not least... This is amazing. I particularly like the way the guy is obviously trying to minimise the embarassment for the girl, by explaining the entire situation in huge detail. Yup that'll work mate. Go on, put her full name in there while you're at it.
you put your ass in my face and passed gas - m4w - 28 (Woodlands)
We were at the ninth hole, and you were dancing on me while I was sitting down, then you bent over and backed up and put your ass in my face, I grabbed it and all of a sudden you let one rip right in my face, everybody started laughing but I felt bad , the look on your face, I know you were embarrased and ran out crying, I know it was an accident. I only ran after you to tell you it was allright but you were pretty upset, and told me your stomach was bubblin you had to get home pretty fast, you gave me your # but i just remembered the first 6 NUMBERS. your name is Lin Shan Wu and live in the woodlands. if anybody knows her tell her Jaime wants to meet her and put this behind us.

Craigslist Missed Connections - Tuesday

New York, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, o so many towns, so little time.

Avoid this girl, she stinks.
want to be the safe zone - 22 (miami)
why cant i just meet someone and automatically wear my ugly pants, rock my crazy hair, and not hide that i'm gassy? life could be so much easier.

I want to play!
Throwing frogs...
was fun with you. I want to do it again. Can we?
I thought he was going quite well till he threw in the Paris Hilton line.
Serra Mesa MILF - m4w - 26 (Mobley at your friend's house)
You're beautiful. We only met briefly, and it was a while ago, but I saw the look in your eye. We definitely had a missed connection. I randomly think of you and wonder what could have been. You look a bit like an older Paris Hilton. You are amazing. Let's do something very soon!

Dude, don't be such a pussy.
To the girl who beat me up at the mall yesterday - m4w - 25 (downtown / civic / van ness)
That was a real trailer trash thing to do. I guess your behavior matches the slutty clothes you were wearing.

I don't want commitment. Is marriage commitment?
Curly haired sexy lesbian at Nice Guy Eddies - w4w - 26 (L.E.S.)
Dear hot curly haired, tattoo lesbian (aka Morgan), You are so sexy and I want to finally meet you face to face. Its cold. Lets warm each other up. I think I want to marry you. But I dont want a relationship or anything. Love you sexy, MD

Strange, but I like the cut of their jib.
purple words
hahahaha! Fuck you fastmail coward fucking loser! You are daddys girl a boozer like daddy!! Hahahaha!!!!

This guy seems to have good information. he thinks fuck the police, they can't be trusted, where else can I find trustworthy people? Aaaaaahhhh yes. Actually, quite a heavy advert.
Murder in Jasper, Georgia
If any persons of authority are looking for the perp. that committed the murder of a male in Jasper...The perp is Cary or Cory...his brother, who by the way is wanted, is living in the trailer behind "Neese Transmission" in woodstock, GA on Cherokee Hwy......along with other 'wanted' individuals. I have additional information from other sources...warning, there are several aggressive dogs on property...a green chevrolet pick up, a big newer model pick up...black. several non running abandoned vehicles...etc..a large shop building....drugs...convicted murderer also resides there, he was acquited in court..but...

$50 an hour? To have some nutter suck my toes? For $20 an hour I'll put the pool ball right back in my mouth and ingest my testicles sumo-style. Yes submissive worm, they're my feet, suck them, harder etc.
FEET WORSHIPPWER AND TOES SUCKER - m4w - 38 (nyc)
hi young colege girls want to earn some money i love LICKING AND SUCKING FEET 50/HR I AM VERY SUBMISSIVE AND LOOKING TO BE SUBMISSIVE NO SEX ONLY FEET WORSHIPPING i am very serious only serious girls need reply

Saturday & Sunday Craigslist Missed Connections Funny Personal Ads

Theme this weekend seemed to be men looking for women they met at Hooters. Has anyone ever actually picked up a waitress from Hooters? Also, Atlanta had a lot of love for Asia this weekend too.

Buffalo Bill places his first advert on Craigslist Missed Connections.
Caribou Coffee - m4m (Edgewood)

You asked for the bathroom key and then went back to grab your newspaper. You might be in there for awhile but I hope you come out soon. I'd love to make a pillow out of your pelt.

I wonder how many people called "Roger Meazley" replied to this one.

Who is Roger Meazley? - 25 (Atl)

Hey I heard s story about a buy named Roger Meazley, apparently he won some money recently and decided that he's going to give it away to some random person on the street. I saw something about it on YouTube and wanted to know if it/he was real or not.

WOW. The 2 pictures were actually in the advert too.

big eyes, blue shadow - w4w (port. center)

you indian(the dot kind) woman with voluptuous lips, blue eyeshadow, and the whitest teeth i have ever seen. i want to rub my feather on your hairy legs. want to be my scissor sister?

Straight to the point.

Hey Indian boy (you know who you are) ... I want to suck your dick!!! - m4m

You know who you are, and you know who I am (I think) ... so what are you waiting for, red car driver? :)

More Funny Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Miami, Atlanta, Houston, san Diego

More! Craigslist is like crack to me.

This isn't funny, this is a public service announcement. Always tie down your dog properly.
BLACK DOG on freeway (Cardiff by the Sea)
Anyone witnessing a black dog falling off a truck, or being hit afterward on I5 North at Birmingham, Wed. 1/21/09 approx. 3:15 p.m. please email with information. Thank you.

One day I shall walk up to a man, say the throw-away line 'really nice balls man' then wonder off as if nothing happened. One day.
LA Fitness Roswell - m4m - 32 (Roswell)
Have seen you in the locker room a few times. We are ususally done with our workouts about the same time (very early morning) You look to be in late 20's and your locker is next to mine. Have showered across from each other and you pull the curtain back when drying off. Really nice balls and dick man. Would love to get together. We were both there this morning and your towel fell off (I liked that). Let me know if you see this - long shot I'm sure.

Great name for a song. The message was nothing but the title
Am I bananas or is there a munkey in my head - m4w - 38 (2008)

Just like getting a custom made suit, it fits like a f*cking glove.
MC , Spalding Heights Dr - m4m (Spalding Heights Dr)
This is a long shot, I lost all of your contact info, wish we can get together some time. Last time I came by you told me that my cock was a perfect fit for your ass.

I emailed this guy but had no response yet. my balls actually ache with anticipation, give me money. Maybe my 'financial requirements' were too much?
Need financial assistance? - m4w (N. Fulton)
Maybe I can help. Need to be 18-25 yro, caucasian, fit, and open minded. ;) Send photo and financial requirements.

Nothing tickles me more than a well-polished anus. Um wait that doesn't sound right, errr. O forget it.
Rimmer on Sledge? - m4m - 30 (Houston)
Anyone know who Im talking about? Where is he at? My ass misses him!

Tuesday Craigslist Missed Connections Jan 09

Observations this week... Any LA Fitness gym in Atlanta or Miami is guaranteed to be a terrifying world, with men constantly flashing their c*cks at each other in the sauna. This is what the adverts lead me to believe anyway. Also, chicks dig men in Ford F150 and F250 trucks. So there you go, a top tip. Join LA Fitness if you like boys, buy a Ford truck if you like girls.

Love yourself, you're f*cking fantastic.
Every morning - w4m - 99 (Watercloset)
Every morning I pass and I see you. Tall, dark, handsome, a bit of a "five o'clock shadow, dreamy/sleepy eyed, God!, just so hot and steamy! I fix us some breakfast, rub all over, and then I realize I'm looking at myself in the mirror and it's time to wake up and go to work. I'll call me sometime. Maybe I can hook up. Maybe even give myself some money or take me somewhere nice.

Pirate dating. Aaaaarrggghhhh.
Joes on juniper - m4m - 27
i was sitting to your 3 o'clock wearing grey. you had an eyepatch. i went to give you my number when everyone was leaving, but alas all i have now is craigslist.

In these modern times, should a Haiku really be limited to a certain number of syllables? This person says not. And I support that. This is a Haiku FOR THE PEOPLE. Take that, elitist scummers.
I Wrote a haiku For You..........
Every week for the entire month of January.....Youve had a body ache of some sort and so have I. I dont' know when we can see each other again...... I never worry you wont be back around one day.....if only in my dreams one day to make me smile.

This is a first! A cup of coffee has placed a post on Craigslist, looking for it's previous owner. Please, I just want to feel your steelius grip on my smooth cardboard skin. Mmmmmm oooooo. Yeah more sugar.
Rice Coffee House [Paul?] - m4m - 22 (Rice University)
You: tall, durty blonde, striking features. man.
Me: tall, skim latte, double shot, hazlenut flavor.
You wore a pink hat with a white fuzz ball. It read "Tim," but i think your name is Paul. Do you remember me? After midnight you walked downstairs to the bar and I followed you. You smiled at me. I was wearing the red sweater vest.
Rice Coffee House [Paul?] - m4m - 22 (Rice University)

His pen1s can juggle 4 oranges. Seriously, it's awesome.
South beach saturday nite - m4m
To the man who stood by me at the urinal and gave me a little show - thanks! Would love to see more of you sometime.

Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday - Miaaaaaami

I said it yesterday, I'll say it again. People on Craigslist in Miami are confident. I guess that's a good way to put it... And while we're discussing Miami, I'd like to thank a Brooke H - 37, for posting a picture of his c0ck, with what looked like an arab strap attached. I opened the page unsuspectingly at work and screamed as i tried to get the bl0ody thing off my screen. I've not had a warning mail from work so I may have got away with it, we'll see...

New rule for me with this stuff. Don't open ones with pictures at work! Right, back to business.

He recognised you AFTER? AFTER??? Imagine if it'd been his brother or something! Chr1st.
Saturday afternoon Club Baths - m4m
Your room was across from mine. I said that you looked like you needed some help with that. After we f*cked you recognized me.... wanna play again?

So he randomly wandered into your room? Again, I'm stunned.
Clubhouse II - Sunday Afternoon - m4m
This is a long shot but what the h*ll. You came in my room and f*cked me face down for a little while. Told you I needed a little break but wanted you to come back. You had a nice BIG c0ck and I wanted more. Would love to go at it with you again. I was in a room in the first hallway. Tell me what room i was in so i'll know it was you.

Now THIS is a man who knows what he wants. And he wants it NOW!
Dicey Riley's Late Sat. Night Jan. 17 - m4w - 33 (Las Olas)
You put out my cigarette, I guessed your nationality, you never gave me your number, how much money do you owe me?

I love the stream of conciousness style of writing, try to find the point that it stops being in English.
MARK STWERT OR BIG MARK==DENICE BARRY - m4m - 47 (DELAND)
WE LIVED RIGHT DOWN THE STEET FROM EACH OTHER BIG MARK AND LITTLE MARK HE FLYS A TWIN EMG.PLANE WE LIVED NO WEST NASAW DR. I MOVED FIRST HIS DAD WORKED AIRLINES SIS WAS KIM IF ANY ONE KNOWS WERE THAY ARE OR DINICE BARRY MADEN NANE SIS WAS DAWNNA TYTYVM WE WERE IN MIRAMAR BY SUNSHINE EL. SCHOOL brother tony barry tytyvm all

Hahahahahaha another man with focus and drive.
Was it really you???????????? - 99 (dreams)
I saw you come out of the bathroom with coke on your nose. You winked at me and we exchanged glances from across the room. You drank about 13 Jagerbombs in 2 hours and passed out on the hostess stand. Doesn't coke keep you awake? You had a horrible b0ob job and your face was peeled back so far it was back in the parking lot.You were wearing heavy blue eyeshadow, a plaid evening gown, and teased blonde-frosted hair. Now you are MY kinda gal. Tell me what I was wearing. Let's meet!

Didn't anyone tell you? Superman is dead.
Superman (not where you are)
Please call. At the very least I deserve a private conversation....

Put your loaf down.
Asian Guy on Bike at Davie Publix (Davie)
You were riding your bike, came into the store and bought a loaf of white bread. We made eye contact a couple of times; you seem very shy. If you see this, write me back. I've got my own loaf of white bread for you .....

One of the most surreal first conversations ever? If it was me, I'd be a little wary, but hey! Fuck it! Throw caution to the wind! Being locked in a dungeon might be your thing.
Dog walking flamingo on the 12th - m4w - 40 (Miami Beach)
You walked your dog, gave way to me - I talked and asked what you would do if I stepped on him... you said you would kill me tht would be the least, but before you would torture me... I came back a few minutes later and said I decide to take the dog... you laughed...... My name is christoph - I missed to ask you if your dog had a facebook site! Please contact me

And last but not least. Me being a child again. 'I ate your b*tt'. Classic.
Hollywood Spice Adult Bookstore - m4m - 39 (Hollywood)
We shared a gloryhole booth yesterday. I ate your b*tt as you got pleasured thru the hole. You left quickly when you were done. I would like to hook up again. Get back to me and let me know what I was wearing.

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Saturday Missed Connections

Pumps you full of his seed? Crumbs...

I know you have another man - m4w (around )

you're too smart for me to prove it but the cum stains on your panties tell me at least part of the picture. You've also stepped up your self awareness of your appearance in clothing and make up. You're overly happy these days as well and spending time meeting "friends" in the evening much more often than in the past. It's no wonder he is helping you wherever he can. You're or bad bitch, worthy of only the best. I just want you to know that not only am I ok with this, but it gives me a huge thrill. He's snipped and probably pumps you full of his seed regularly. Why won't you let me in onthe secret or at least give me some clues. You'll probably never see this but if you stumble across it, write me and come clean about your undercover adventures. It could really heat things up.

Packing a nice what?

LA Fitness - m4m - 35 (Toco Hills)
Did anyone else see the hottie in the locker room in the blue CK briefs this afternoon? Wow, he was packing a nice pouch! I know he saw me staring as I finished getting dressed. Wish I'd had the nerve to at least say hello.

Terrifying attention to detail...

applebee's bartender - m4w (Jonesboro)

Visually appealing is all I kept thinking as I struggled to order my lunch while quietly appreciating you. You were tending bar at the Applebee’s in Jonesboro this afternoon. I was attracted to you smooth yellow skin and long black hair. You were wearing all black and I noticed the tattoo that you have above your left breast. I think a woman with glasses is sexy and you looked even better when you let them rest on your head. I was there between 12:30 and 2pm. I should have said something or at the very least introduced myself. If you don’t see this I will be back another day to try my hand. You did it for me, and I’m sure there is a lot more to you.

Am I being a cynical bugger in thinking this ad is a little disturbing?

mw4mw - 24 (duluth)

were looking for young married couples that want to hang out. we just moved and are looking to find fun couples that driink and ave kids to hang out and go out when the kids have sitters. let us know were very hot couple and fun open to anything les u sknow!!!!!! we want couples with kids that can get out all the time and would like to hang out with kids somethimes

Perfectly normal ad, but is the picture the writer??

P. at QT - w4m - 23 (Gwinnett)

I see you almost everyday. Saw you last night while I was out, are you ever going to ask me out?

Boy Wonder cups the balls, Batman goes to town...
Bat Signal - m4m - 40 (Atlanta)

Looking to re-connect with Batman, the Boy Wonder, or FiendishOneAtl.

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Friday Craigslist Missed Connections cont.

Today is a good day for Atlanta...

Awesome...
Cheese anyone? - m4w - 26 (Poncey )
Your girlfriend is gorgeous. The way she arches when you kiss the small of her back is phenomenal. We should have some baked Gruyere cheese sometime. If you're not interested, close the blinds to your bedroom window.

It's your personality I like...
LOOKING FOR WOMAN I SAW IN WAL-MART WITH BIG BO*BS - 56 (CARTERSVILLE)
I ONLY SAW YOU FROM THE SIDE BUT MAN YOU WERE BUILT. I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE GONE. IF YOU WERE AT WAL-MART AND HAVE BIG BO*BS, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME. I DID NOT REALLY SEE YOUR FACE BECAUSE I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.

Good time-keeping is important...
Town Center Belks - m4m
Looking for the guy who sucked me off at Belks today around 3:45

What's a woman got to do to get laid she asks?
Missed Connection with Men in General - w4m - 34 (East Atlanta)
Why do you ask for my phone number and then not call? Why do you set up a date and then not follow through? Why do you monopolize me for an entire night and then act like it never happened the next day? Did you hope I'd go home with you that night and since I didn't, you decided that I didn't matter? Konw that when you do this it hurts me. How can I think you're not like the others when my past experience has taught me otherwise? How can I believe or even hope that you might be different? What's a woman got to do to get laid?!

And the reply this lady got?...
RE: Missed Connection with Men in General (A*sholopolis)
That's pretty much how we treat all fat girls. Put the twinkie down and buy a treadmill.

The male gender is a savage one...

I like this. Someone with less to do than me.
Old Mcdonalds had a Farm... - m4w - 27 (Marietta)
IEIEOOOOOO

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