Fuck me, today Atlanta was obsessed with writing poems for people that they're too scared to ask out in person. Come on pussies, grow some balls! I didn't put any of them in here because they were boring.
This guy stole all my best lines. Breeding koalas?
Your Grampa Invented Legos
We met at the USA Sevens on Saturday and you stored my number in your friends phone. You were fresh off the boat from Australia; I was the blond girl dressed in red, chillin with the cute asian girl. You claimed that your grandfather invented Legos (I doubted the validity of that claim, but thought that you were fun anyways... very easy on the eyes.). You also said that your friend's father breeds koalas. This is also doubtful, but regardless, I'd like to hang out again.
Not such an unusual advert on Craigslist, except they left out some important info, man or woman?
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE NAKED (YOUR PLACE)
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE BUTT NAKED!! CHEAP RATES!! YOUR PLACE WILL BE SHINING AND YOU GET TO HAVE FUN!!
Awesome band name.
seeking goth girl at the NY comic con who had ur breasts signed - m4w (Greenwich Village)
you are awesome. check out my band, it's called Wormcult i'm on teh myspace
I'm not sure what you call a person who wants to have sex with trees, but I'm sure it exists. Any ideas people?
Home Depot Garden Dept, 6:30 pm - m4m - 50 (Coral Springs)
You: 6'1", probably 220", wearing a red longsleeved tshirt and driving a white BMW crossover Me: behind you in line at the outside register wearing an ugly purple shirt and red plaid shorts. I left in my white VW. Obviously I was playing golf earlier, hence the ugly clothes. You are too hot for my oven. I'd like to pour some of my palm tree fertilizer on you and see what grows or sprouts.
For years the popular British pass-time, 'dogging', hasn't taken off in the USA. Are we seeing the beginnings of something new and beautiful?
Haulover Beach Parking Lot (Haulover Nude Beach)
You walked up and peeked into our car while my girlfriend and I were fooling around after a day at the nude beach Sunday. You took your time changing at the car next to us. Did you like what you saw? Let me know what kind of cars you and I were driving and what you did as we pulled off so I know it's you.
This is the sort of message where he probably clicked 'confirm', then wondered what the hell he was thinking posting on Craigslist.
COUCH GUY - m4m (DOWNTOWN )
I GOT THE COUCH BUT GOT REAL NERVOUS WHEN I SAW YOU AND LOCKED EYES. IM EVEN ASKING MYSELF WHY AM I WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW AS I SPEAK FROM MY HEAD,,, OK I SOUND CRAZY..
I like honesty.
I'm the ugliest guy on the Canarsie line - m4w - 24 (Bushwick)
But I've got wheels, and you want to go for a ride.
I just liked the person's name...
looking for Veronica Crump... - 43 (Lithonia)
Someone here must know Veronica Crump. Please let her know that I am looking for her. Thanks.
A brilliant advert, a great way to end the day.
I am man, I saw you woman, you looked and smiled! - m4w - 29 (Atlanta South to Macon)
If you are a woman that has had a sexual thought about a man lately and wondered if he would give you an orgasm or not? Then call me, cause I will and I am not that picky. Call: seven seven Ohhhhhhhhh, six six six, six six thirtytwo. I can come to you. I am 6'1" and white, 210 lbs, not fat, fairly athletic, with a high sex drive.
Showing posts with label san francisco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label san francisco. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Monday, 16 February 2009
Valentine's Day Special!
Funny Craigslist Missed Connections adverts from Atlanta, Houston, New York and Miami. I'd like to say that love was in the air but...
Man has erection, will travel by rocket to your pants.
I Just Switched From Viagra To Cialis And...
I just switched from Viagra to Cialis (with a capitol C & V) and now my adventure capitol is flush with flesh. I'm ready for action at any time with out the need to prepare for an intimate encounter. Sort of like when I was 16, only I'm 55. Just one small daily dose and my rocket is ready for takeoff at a moments notice.
I've read some retarded things in my time. But trying to score drugs off Craigslist?
MC with My Dope Spot (Williamsburg)
Hey...I've been away from my favorite substance for years and have no clue where to cop and not get ripped off, etc. Anyone with advice, hit me back. Be willing to compensate someone who'd help.
Quite a normal nice advert really, but it's worth posting for using the phrase 'brain fart'. I have no idea what it means but I laughed. And that's all I care about.
Cute Girl Buying Phillies Blunt - m4w - 27 (miami)
Cute girl at the CVS off the US1 buying munchies and 2 cigars, you were wearing white shorts and sandals. You smiled at me and I must've looked like I didn't care, but I was running errands and had a brain fart. I should have said hello or something. I was the dude with the beard & striped shirt. Get back if you can, but if you can't, you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. :) 420
Paedophiles are so open these days!
uhd officer in the front - m4m - 24 (Downtown)
I love going to school to look at you in your uniform. Your really cute. If your into guys let me know.
'Walking like a proud shrimp'. Even has a picture of the mentioned shrimp. They look f*cking proud.
Horace the Manager of the Fish Deli
... you were walking like a proud shrimp today!--you walk so cute...you're shrimps today was too small or I would have got some just to fry the tails to perfection!....perfection! ps I will send a note to your bossman to tell him how gracias you are
Man stuck in relationship due to dependancy on man for money. Man needs a new relationship to get away from old relationship. Must have money. Frickin' moochers.
Marry UP - 25 (Montrose)
Hey guys, Hanging at Starbucks in Montrose. Trapped in a relationship I am forced to be in because my boyfriend takes care of me. I will be at Starbucks from 11-3 today. I prefer guys 30-55 who have a stable job and room in their place and heart for me. I cannot give out my number because my boyfriend pays for my cell phone and checks all the numbers I call. Please come by and rescue me. I need new relationship yesterday!!! My name is Geoff.
YEEEEEE-f*cking-HAAAAAA.
Jolie, you've outdone yourself
now you need to step down from your f'n high horse and start learnin' to lasso like a real cowgirl without all the cumbrous sentences. Jimbob was actually a good match for you even though he left your teeth in a cup at the motel in Jackson Hole. God Bless.
What sort of a bastard would take the piss out of a kid trying to get money to go to school? Me, thats who. Learn to spell chump, 18 years of school and you type this puddle of shite? And what the f*ck is going on with the picture??? Is the 'w' in 'pwease' intentional? I'm so angry, HULK SMASH.
take me shopping pwease - w4m - 18 (southwest)
hey im leaveing for school tuesday and i still havint gon school shopping i need someone to take meeh and sposer the trip can u help text meeh:) eight three 2 six three three twenty six zero2
Women like idiots, it's official. I have a chance.
to the douche-bag at the horseshoe last night - w4m - 27 (marina / cow hollow)
You had a classy v-neck t-shirt that was too small, and a suggestive hole in the crotch of your designer jeans. The whole time you were spilling tequilla shots on everone around you and proudly displaying your colorful panties. I found your spilling yours/mine/many other patrons drinks on my friends and me, coupled with your consequent steadfast and unfaltering ignoring of this douch bag move entirely irresistable.
Dirtiest pair of mouthes ever. They would make a good couple.
Morgan At C*ckBl*ck 2/14 - w4m
I spilled whiskey, you licked it up. You spilled your drink, I licked it up. Wish I asked for your number.
So is this a 50 year old man inviting women to a motel to smoke weed and crack? I like the addition of 'no weirdos' to the the end.
rocks and stems and sex - m4w - 56 (coral gables)
lets go shopping in the grove and then we can party at a nice motel while we blow smoke all over.............. must like to be eaten no weirdos please
Bruised ego?
Whiskey Blue - Thursday night - m4w - 37 (Atlanta)
To the attractive brunette who slapped me tonight....you have serious anger management issues. I hope you get a good therapist soon, because you need one. Big time. I feel sorry for you. Now go and get yourself some help.
This is NOT an invite to get laid. I want to help you, I really do. With my hungry hungry dick.
STOP HERE AVAL-SBM 4 U - m4w - 36 (EAST POINT)
Any woman SICK of the dating sites/night club scene/ perverted ads/ and fake men. HIT me up for an experience that you will never forget THIS is not an invite to get laid. Only serious woman who are hungry to express themselves. GOOD HUMOR MAN WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONDS.
Wow.
I can f*ck for hours!!! - w4w (The park )
Mmm, remember that time you watched as me and my hombre were actin like we was fucking under the blanket and then we really started fucking? Or that time, you ate me out in the bathroom after I took a shower? Gimme a call...I want that back!
Man has erection, will travel by rocket to your pants.
I Just Switched From Viagra To Cialis And...
I just switched from Viagra to Cialis (with a capitol C & V) and now my adventure capitol is flush with flesh. I'm ready for action at any time with out the need to prepare for an intimate encounter. Sort of like when I was 16, only I'm 55. Just one small daily dose and my rocket is ready for takeoff at a moments notice.
I've read some retarded things in my time. But trying to score drugs off Craigslist?
MC with My Dope Spot (Williamsburg)
Hey...I've been away from my favorite substance for years and have no clue where to cop and not get ripped off, etc. Anyone with advice, hit me back. Be willing to compensate someone who'd help.
Quite a normal nice advert really, but it's worth posting for using the phrase 'brain fart'. I have no idea what it means but I laughed. And that's all I care about.
Cute Girl Buying Phillies Blunt - m4w - 27 (miami)
Cute girl at the CVS off the US1 buying munchies and 2 cigars, you were wearing white shorts and sandals. You smiled at me and I must've looked like I didn't care, but I was running errands and had a brain fart. I should have said hello or something. I was the dude with the beard & striped shirt. Get back if you can, but if you can't, you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. :) 420
Paedophiles are so open these days!
uhd officer in the front - m4m - 24 (Downtown)
I love going to school to look at you in your uniform. Your really cute. If your into guys let me know.
'Walking like a proud shrimp'. Even has a picture of the mentioned shrimp. They look f*cking proud.
Horace the Manager of the Fish Deli
... you were walking like a proud shrimp today!--you walk so cute...you're shrimps today was too small or I would have got some just to fry the tails to perfection!....perfection! ps I will send a note to your bossman to tell him how gracias you are
Man stuck in relationship due to dependancy on man for money. Man needs a new relationship to get away from old relationship. Must have money. Frickin' moochers.
Marry UP - 25 (Montrose)
Hey guys, Hanging at Starbucks in Montrose. Trapped in a relationship I am forced to be in because my boyfriend takes care of me. I will be at Starbucks from 11-3 today. I prefer guys 30-55 who have a stable job and room in their place and heart for me. I cannot give out my number because my boyfriend pays for my cell phone and checks all the numbers I call. Please come by and rescue me. I need new relationship yesterday!!! My name is Geoff.
YEEEEEE-f*cking-HAAAAAA.
Jolie, you've outdone yourself
now you need to step down from your f'n high horse and start learnin' to lasso like a real cowgirl without all the cumbrous sentences. Jimbob was actually a good match for you even though he left your teeth in a cup at the motel in Jackson Hole. God Bless.
What sort of a bastard would take the piss out of a kid trying to get money to go to school? Me, thats who. Learn to spell chump, 18 years of school and you type this puddle of shite? And what the f*ck is going on with the picture??? Is the 'w' in 'pwease' intentional? I'm so angry, HULK SMASH.
take me shopping pwease - w4m - 18 (southwest)
hey im leaveing for school tuesday and i still havint gon school shopping i need someone to take meeh and sposer the trip can u help text meeh:) eight three 2 six three three twenty six zero2
Women like idiots, it's official. I have a chance.
to the douche-bag at the horseshoe last night - w4m - 27 (marina / cow hollow)
You had a classy v-neck t-shirt that was too small, and a suggestive hole in the crotch of your designer jeans. The whole time you were spilling tequilla shots on everone around you and proudly displaying your colorful panties. I found your spilling yours/mine/many other patrons drinks on my friends and me, coupled with your consequent steadfast and unfaltering ignoring of this douch bag move entirely irresistable.
Dirtiest pair of mouthes ever. They would make a good couple.
Morgan At C*ckBl*ck 2/14 - w4m
I spilled whiskey, you licked it up. You spilled your drink, I licked it up. Wish I asked for your number.
So is this a 50 year old man inviting women to a motel to smoke weed and crack? I like the addition of 'no weirdos' to the the end.
rocks and stems and sex - m4w - 56 (coral gables)
lets go shopping in the grove and then we can party at a nice motel while we blow smoke all over.............. must like to be eaten no weirdos please
Bruised ego?
Whiskey Blue - Thursday night - m4w - 37 (Atlanta)
To the attractive brunette who slapped me tonight....you have serious anger management issues. I hope you get a good therapist soon, because you need one. Big time. I feel sorry for you. Now go and get yourself some help.
This is NOT an invite to get laid. I want to help you, I really do. With my hungry hungry dick.
STOP HERE AVAL-SBM 4 U - m4w - 36 (EAST POINT)
Any woman SICK of the dating sites/night club scene/ perverted ads/ and fake men. HIT me up for an experience that you will never forget THIS is not an invite to get laid. Only serious woman who are hungry to express themselves. GOOD HUMOR MAN WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONDS.
Wow.
I can f*ck for hours!!! - w4w (The park )
Mmm, remember that time you watched as me and my hombre were actin like we was fucking under the blanket and then we really started fucking? Or that time, you ate me out in the bathroom after I took a shower? Gimme a call...I want that back!
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Personal ad marriage proposal - good idea?
My favourite insult in Craigslist Missed Connections today was f*cktard tw@t.
Someone with more time to d1ck about than me replies to an earlier Craigslist advert.
Ref: PUBLIX..TALL BLACK MAN, SHAVED HEAD, ORANGE? SHIRT THURS 2/5 - w4
I saw you, you were the nasty looking ho who kept staring at me. Contact me, I think I can make some money off you over on MLK if I clean you up a bit. Yea, you know I love you Baby...
I've not worked out who this is written to. Maybe he just wants to tell the world 'I LOVE T1TS!'
Miss looking at my buddy's wife - m4w (Houston)
My wife and I went on a vavcation with our friends...we eventually got the wifes to get topless on the beach. My buddy's wife had the most perfect set of t1ts. I got to jack off to them that evening. I sure miss looking at them! Too bad we could not be with them several weekends ago...think we might have swapped wifes! SH1T!
I'm not going to be mean about this one, it's sweet I think. I love the heart-ripping reference. MORTAL COMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
i'm really missing you - m4w - 22 (sugar land)
you ripped out my heart like you were kano from mortal kombat I want it back
I wonder why he hasn't succeeded so far. Possibly the repeated assaults on her booty might be a factor?
Indian Girl on the B Train - m4w - 26 (Brooklyn)
You bumped into me on the B train. I touched your b*tt a few times but you didnt turn around :( I would like to touch it again....)
Um. eh? Picture included.
Unit: Android. Status: Tinkering. - m4w - 27 (Greenpoint)
Environment: Sopping Wet.
Olfactory: Biodiesel and WVO fumes.
Culprit: Hippiepants.
This has some amazing pun work, and I love the use of moobs. Never until now have I seen 'moobs' used in a sexual way.
Re: On Your Porch - m4m - 26 (Inwood Forest)
I had a great time too. All I got to say is we need to get baby oil, rip the sheets off of the waterbed, and rasttle naked. I can't wait to feel your moobs. I don't think my bf would mind, he likes to watch. I will dust off the sling in the attic and bust out the liquid latex for a great night in...and out...and back in again. Cum over and lets finger it out!
And finally... one of the most half-@rsed, crushingly sh1t marriage proposals I've ever seen.
my playmate
will u marry me
Someone with more time to d1ck about than me replies to an earlier Craigslist advert.
Ref: PUBLIX..TALL BLACK MAN, SHAVED HEAD, ORANGE? SHIRT THURS 2/5 - w4
I saw you, you were the nasty looking ho who kept staring at me. Contact me, I think I can make some money off you over on MLK if I clean you up a bit. Yea, you know I love you Baby...
I've not worked out who this is written to. Maybe he just wants to tell the world 'I LOVE T1TS!'
Miss looking at my buddy's wife - m4w (Houston)
My wife and I went on a vavcation with our friends...we eventually got the wifes to get topless on the beach. My buddy's wife had the most perfect set of t1ts. I got to jack off to them that evening. I sure miss looking at them! Too bad we could not be with them several weekends ago...think we might have swapped wifes! SH1T!
I'm not going to be mean about this one, it's sweet I think. I love the heart-ripping reference. MORTAL COMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
i'm really missing you - m4w - 22 (sugar land)
you ripped out my heart like you were kano from mortal kombat I want it back
I wonder why he hasn't succeeded so far. Possibly the repeated assaults on her booty might be a factor?
Indian Girl on the B Train - m4w - 26 (Brooklyn)
You bumped into me on the B train. I touched your b*tt a few times but you didnt turn around :( I would like to touch it again....)
Um. eh? Picture included.
Unit: Android. Status: Tinkering. - m4w - 27 (Greenpoint)
Environment: Sopping Wet.
Olfactory: Biodiesel and WVO fumes.
Culprit: Hippiepants.
This has some amazing pun work, and I love the use of moobs. Never until now have I seen 'moobs' used in a sexual way.
Re: On Your Porch - m4m - 26 (Inwood Forest)
I had a great time too. All I got to say is we need to get baby oil, rip the sheets off of the waterbed, and rasttle naked. I can't wait to feel your moobs. I don't think my bf would mind, he likes to watch. I will dust off the sling in the attic and bust out the liquid latex for a great night in...and out...and back in again. Cum over and lets finger it out!
And finally... one of the most half-@rsed, crushingly sh1t marriage proposals I've ever seen.
my playmate
will u marry me
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Tuesday
Personal Ads are fun until you wake up with your balls in your mouth
I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....
Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++
More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #
Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM
Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)
The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.
I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....
Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++
More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #
Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM
Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)
The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections - Tuesday
New York, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, o so many towns, so little time.
Avoid this girl, she stinks.
want to be the safe zone - 22 (miami)
why cant i just meet someone and automatically wear my ugly pants, rock my crazy hair, and not hide that i'm gassy? life could be so much easier.
I want to play!
Throwing frogs...
was fun with you. I want to do it again. Can we?
I thought he was going quite well till he threw in the Paris Hilton line.
Serra Mesa MILF - m4w - 26 (Mobley at your friend's house)
You're beautiful. We only met briefly, and it was a while ago, but I saw the look in your eye. We definitely had a missed connection. I randomly think of you and wonder what could have been. You look a bit like an older Paris Hilton. You are amazing. Let's do something very soon!
Dude, don't be such a pussy.
To the girl who beat me up at the mall yesterday - m4w - 25 (downtown / civic / van ness)
That was a real trailer trash thing to do. I guess your behavior matches the slutty clothes you were wearing.
I don't want commitment. Is marriage commitment?
Curly haired sexy lesbian at Nice Guy Eddies - w4w - 26 (L.E.S.)
Dear hot curly haired, tattoo lesbian (aka Morgan), You are so sexy and I want to finally meet you face to face. Its cold. Lets warm each other up. I think I want to marry you. But I dont want a relationship or anything. Love you sexy, MD
Strange, but I like the cut of their jib.
purple words
hahahaha! Fuck you fastmail coward fucking loser! You are daddys girl a boozer like daddy!! Hahahaha!!!!
This guy seems to have good information. he thinks fuck the police, they can't be trusted, where else can I find trustworthy people? Aaaaaahhhh yes. Actually, quite a heavy advert.
Murder in Jasper, Georgia
If any persons of authority are looking for the perp. that committed the murder of a male in Jasper...The perp is Cary or Cory...his brother, who by the way is wanted, is living in the trailer behind "Neese Transmission" in woodstock, GA on Cherokee Hwy......along with other 'wanted' individuals. I have additional information from other sources...warning, there are several aggressive dogs on property...a green chevrolet pick up, a big newer model pick up...black. several non running abandoned vehicles...etc..a large shop building....drugs...convicted murderer also resides there, he was acquited in court..but...
$50 an hour? To have some nutter suck my toes? For $20 an hour I'll put the pool ball right back in my mouth and ingest my testicles sumo-style. Yes submissive worm, they're my feet, suck them, harder etc.
FEET WORSHIPPWER AND TOES SUCKER - m4w - 38 (nyc)
hi young colege girls want to earn some money i love LICKING AND SUCKING FEET 50/HR I AM VERY SUBMISSIVE AND LOOKING TO BE SUBMISSIVE NO SEX ONLY FEET WORSHIPPING i am very serious only serious girls need reply
Avoid this girl, she stinks.
want to be the safe zone - 22 (miami)
why cant i just meet someone and automatically wear my ugly pants, rock my crazy hair, and not hide that i'm gassy? life could be so much easier.
I want to play!
Throwing frogs...
was fun with you. I want to do it again. Can we?
I thought he was going quite well till he threw in the Paris Hilton line.
Serra Mesa MILF - m4w - 26 (Mobley at your friend's house)
You're beautiful. We only met briefly, and it was a while ago, but I saw the look in your eye. We definitely had a missed connection. I randomly think of you and wonder what could have been. You look a bit like an older Paris Hilton. You are amazing. Let's do something very soon!
Dude, don't be such a pussy.
To the girl who beat me up at the mall yesterday - m4w - 25 (downtown / civic / van ness)
That was a real trailer trash thing to do. I guess your behavior matches the slutty clothes you were wearing.
I don't want commitment. Is marriage commitment?
Curly haired sexy lesbian at Nice Guy Eddies - w4w - 26 (L.E.S.)
Dear hot curly haired, tattoo lesbian (aka Morgan), You are so sexy and I want to finally meet you face to face. Its cold. Lets warm each other up. I think I want to marry you. But I dont want a relationship or anything. Love you sexy, MD
Strange, but I like the cut of their jib.
purple words
hahahaha! Fuck you fastmail coward fucking loser! You are daddys girl a boozer like daddy!! Hahahaha!!!!
This guy seems to have good information. he thinks fuck the police, they can't be trusted, where else can I find trustworthy people? Aaaaaahhhh yes. Actually, quite a heavy advert.
Murder in Jasper, Georgia
If any persons of authority are looking for the perp. that committed the murder of a male in Jasper...The perp is Cary or Cory...his brother, who by the way is wanted, is living in the trailer behind "Neese Transmission" in woodstock, GA on Cherokee Hwy......along with other 'wanted' individuals. I have additional information from other sources...warning, there are several aggressive dogs on property...a green chevrolet pick up, a big newer model pick up...black. several non running abandoned vehicles...etc..a large shop building....drugs...convicted murderer also resides there, he was acquited in court..but...
$50 an hour? To have some nutter suck my toes? For $20 an hour I'll put the pool ball right back in my mouth and ingest my testicles sumo-style. Yes submissive worm, they're my feet, suck them, harder etc.
FEET WORSHIPPWER AND TOES SUCKER - m4w - 38 (nyc)
hi young colege girls want to earn some money i love LICKING AND SUCKING FEET 50/HR I AM VERY SUBMISSIVE AND LOOKING TO BE SUBMISSIVE NO SEX ONLY FEET WORSHIPPING i am very serious only serious girls need reply
Friday, 30 January 2009
More Funny Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Miami, Atlanta, Houston, san Diego
More! Craigslist is like crack to me.
This isn't funny, this is a public service announcement. Always tie down your dog properly.
BLACK DOG on freeway (Cardiff by the Sea)
Anyone witnessing a black dog falling off a truck, or being hit afterward on I5 North at Birmingham, Wed. 1/21/09 approx. 3:15 p.m. please email with information. Thank you.
One day I shall walk up to a man, say the throw-away line 'really nice balls man' then wonder off as if nothing happened. One day.
LA Fitness Roswell - m4m - 32 (Roswell)
Have seen you in the locker room a few times. We are ususally done with our workouts about the same time (very early morning) You look to be in late 20's and your locker is next to mine. Have showered across from each other and you pull the curtain back when drying off. Really nice balls and dick man. Would love to get together. We were both there this morning and your towel fell off (I liked that). Let me know if you see this - long shot I'm sure.
Great name for a song. The message was nothing but the title
Am I bananas or is there a munkey in my head - m4w - 38 (2008)
Just like getting a custom made suit, it fits like a f*cking glove.
MC , Spalding Heights Dr - m4m (Spalding Heights Dr)
This is a long shot, I lost all of your contact info, wish we can get together some time. Last time I came by you told me that my cock was a perfect fit for your ass.
I emailed this guy but had no response yet. my balls actually ache with anticipation, give me money. Maybe my 'financial requirements' were too much?
Need financial assistance? - m4w (N. Fulton)
Maybe I can help. Need to be 18-25 yro, caucasian, fit, and open minded. ;) Send photo and financial requirements.
Nothing tickles me more than a well-polished anus. Um wait that doesn't sound right, errr. O forget it.
Rimmer on Sledge? - m4m - 30 (Houston)
Anyone know who Im talking about? Where is he at? My ass misses him!
This isn't funny, this is a public service announcement. Always tie down your dog properly.
BLACK DOG on freeway (Cardiff by the Sea)
Anyone witnessing a black dog falling off a truck, or being hit afterward on I5 North at Birmingham, Wed. 1/21/09 approx. 3:15 p.m. please email with information. Thank you.
One day I shall walk up to a man, say the throw-away line 'really nice balls man' then wonder off as if nothing happened. One day.
LA Fitness Roswell - m4m - 32 (Roswell)
Have seen you in the locker room a few times. We are ususally done with our workouts about the same time (very early morning) You look to be in late 20's and your locker is next to mine. Have showered across from each other and you pull the curtain back when drying off. Really nice balls and dick man. Would love to get together. We were both there this morning and your towel fell off (I liked that). Let me know if you see this - long shot I'm sure.
Great name for a song. The message was nothing but the title
Am I bananas or is there a munkey in my head - m4w - 38 (2008)
Just like getting a custom made suit, it fits like a f*cking glove.
MC , Spalding Heights Dr - m4m (Spalding Heights Dr)
This is a long shot, I lost all of your contact info, wish we can get together some time. Last time I came by you told me that my cock was a perfect fit for your ass.
I emailed this guy but had no response yet. my balls actually ache with anticipation, give me money. Maybe my 'financial requirements' were too much?
Need financial assistance? - m4w (N. Fulton)
Maybe I can help. Need to be 18-25 yro, caucasian, fit, and open minded. ;) Send photo and financial requirements.
Nothing tickles me more than a well-polished anus. Um wait that doesn't sound right, errr. O forget it.
Rimmer on Sledge? - m4m - 30 (Houston)
Anyone know who Im talking about? Where is he at? My ass misses him!
Friday, 23 January 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Freaks of the States UNITE!
Thanks to Sara for these missed connections from a bunch of different cities. Just goes to show that nutters don't all come from Atlanta. They come from Houston and San Francisco too.
I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?
Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....
Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.
An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks
I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)
Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.
The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!
This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted
I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?
The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!
THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.
Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.
Stumble It!
I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?
Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....
Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.
An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks
I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)
Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.
The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!
This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted
I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?
The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!
THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.
Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.
Stumble It!
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