Fuck me, today Atlanta was obsessed with writing poems for people that they're too scared to ask out in person. Come on pussies, grow some balls! I didn't put any of them in here because they were boring.
This guy stole all my best lines. Breeding koalas?
Your Grampa Invented Legos
We met at the USA Sevens on Saturday and you stored my number in your friends phone. You were fresh off the boat from Australia; I was the blond girl dressed in red, chillin with the cute asian girl. You claimed that your grandfather invented Legos (I doubted the validity of that claim, but thought that you were fun anyways... very easy on the eyes.). You also said that your friend's father breeds koalas. This is also doubtful, but regardless, I'd like to hang out again.
Not such an unusual advert on Craigslist, except they left out some important info, man or woman?
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE NAKED (YOUR PLACE)
I WILL CLEAN YOUR HOUSE BUTT NAKED!! CHEAP RATES!! YOUR PLACE WILL BE SHINING AND YOU GET TO HAVE FUN!!
Awesome band name.
seeking goth girl at the NY comic con who had ur breasts signed - m4w (Greenwich Village)
you are awesome. check out my band, it's called Wormcult i'm on teh myspace
I'm not sure what you call a person who wants to have sex with trees, but I'm sure it exists. Any ideas people?
Home Depot Garden Dept, 6:30 pm - m4m - 50 (Coral Springs)
You: 6'1", probably 220", wearing a red longsleeved tshirt and driving a white BMW crossover Me: behind you in line at the outside register wearing an ugly purple shirt and red plaid shorts. I left in my white VW. Obviously I was playing golf earlier, hence the ugly clothes. You are too hot for my oven. I'd like to pour some of my palm tree fertilizer on you and see what grows or sprouts.
For years the popular British pass-time, 'dogging', hasn't taken off in the USA. Are we seeing the beginnings of something new and beautiful?
Haulover Beach Parking Lot (Haulover Nude Beach)
You walked up and peeked into our car while my girlfriend and I were fooling around after a day at the nude beach Sunday. You took your time changing at the car next to us. Did you like what you saw? Let me know what kind of cars you and I were driving and what you did as we pulled off so I know it's you.
This is the sort of message where he probably clicked 'confirm', then wondered what the hell he was thinking posting on Craigslist.
COUCH GUY - m4m (DOWNTOWN )
I GOT THE COUCH BUT GOT REAL NERVOUS WHEN I SAW YOU AND LOCKED EYES. IM EVEN ASKING MYSELF WHY AM I WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW AS I SPEAK FROM MY HEAD,,, OK I SOUND CRAZY..
I like honesty.
I'm the ugliest guy on the Canarsie line - m4w - 24 (Bushwick)
But I've got wheels, and you want to go for a ride.
I just liked the person's name...
looking for Veronica Crump... - 43 (Lithonia)
Someone here must know Veronica Crump. Please let her know that I am looking for her. Thanks.
A brilliant advert, a great way to end the day.
I am man, I saw you woman, you looked and smiled! - m4w - 29 (Atlanta South to Macon)
If you are a woman that has had a sexual thought about a man lately and wondered if he would give you an orgasm or not? Then call me, cause I will and I am not that picky. Call: seven seven Ohhhhhhhhh, six six six, six six thirtytwo. I can come to you. I am 6'1" and white, 210 lbs, not fat, fairly athletic, with a high sex drive.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Monday, 16 February 2009
Valentine's Day Special!
Funny Craigslist Missed Connections adverts from Atlanta, Houston, New York and Miami. I'd like to say that love was in the air but...
Man has erection, will travel by rocket to your pants.
I Just Switched From Viagra To Cialis And...
I just switched from Viagra to Cialis (with a capitol C & V) and now my adventure capitol is flush with flesh. I'm ready for action at any time with out the need to prepare for an intimate encounter. Sort of like when I was 16, only I'm 55. Just one small daily dose and my rocket is ready for takeoff at a moments notice.
I've read some retarded things in my time. But trying to score drugs off Craigslist?
MC with My Dope Spot (Williamsburg)
Hey...I've been away from my favorite substance for years and have no clue where to cop and not get ripped off, etc. Anyone with advice, hit me back. Be willing to compensate someone who'd help.
Quite a normal nice advert really, but it's worth posting for using the phrase 'brain fart'. I have no idea what it means but I laughed. And that's all I care about.
Cute Girl Buying Phillies Blunt - m4w - 27 (miami)
Cute girl at the CVS off the US1 buying munchies and 2 cigars, you were wearing white shorts and sandals. You smiled at me and I must've looked like I didn't care, but I was running errands and had a brain fart. I should have said hello or something. I was the dude with the beard & striped shirt. Get back if you can, but if you can't, you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. :) 420
Paedophiles are so open these days!
uhd officer in the front - m4m - 24 (Downtown)
I love going to school to look at you in your uniform. Your really cute. If your into guys let me know.
'Walking like a proud shrimp'. Even has a picture of the mentioned shrimp. They look f*cking proud.
Horace the Manager of the Fish Deli
... you were walking like a proud shrimp today!--you walk so cute...you're shrimps today was too small or I would have got some just to fry the tails to perfection!....perfection! ps I will send a note to your bossman to tell him how gracias you are
Man stuck in relationship due to dependancy on man for money. Man needs a new relationship to get away from old relationship. Must have money. Frickin' moochers.
Marry UP - 25 (Montrose)
Hey guys, Hanging at Starbucks in Montrose. Trapped in a relationship I am forced to be in because my boyfriend takes care of me. I will be at Starbucks from 11-3 today. I prefer guys 30-55 who have a stable job and room in their place and heart for me. I cannot give out my number because my boyfriend pays for my cell phone and checks all the numbers I call. Please come by and rescue me. I need new relationship yesterday!!! My name is Geoff.
YEEEEEE-f*cking-HAAAAAA.
Jolie, you've outdone yourself
now you need to step down from your f'n high horse and start learnin' to lasso like a real cowgirl without all the cumbrous sentences. Jimbob was actually a good match for you even though he left your teeth in a cup at the motel in Jackson Hole. God Bless.
What sort of a bastard would take the piss out of a kid trying to get money to go to school? Me, thats who. Learn to spell chump, 18 years of school and you type this puddle of shite? And what the f*ck is going on with the picture??? Is the 'w' in 'pwease' intentional? I'm so angry, HULK SMASH.
take me shopping pwease - w4m - 18 (southwest)
hey im leaveing for school tuesday and i still havint gon school shopping i need someone to take meeh and sposer the trip can u help text meeh:) eight three 2 six three three twenty six zero2
Women like idiots, it's official. I have a chance.
to the douche-bag at the horseshoe last night - w4m - 27 (marina / cow hollow)
You had a classy v-neck t-shirt that was too small, and a suggestive hole in the crotch of your designer jeans. The whole time you were spilling tequilla shots on everone around you and proudly displaying your colorful panties. I found your spilling yours/mine/many other patrons drinks on my friends and me, coupled with your consequent steadfast and unfaltering ignoring of this douch bag move entirely irresistable.
Dirtiest pair of mouthes ever. They would make a good couple.
Morgan At C*ckBl*ck 2/14 - w4m
I spilled whiskey, you licked it up. You spilled your drink, I licked it up. Wish I asked for your number.
So is this a 50 year old man inviting women to a motel to smoke weed and crack? I like the addition of 'no weirdos' to the the end.
rocks and stems and sex - m4w - 56 (coral gables)
lets go shopping in the grove and then we can party at a nice motel while we blow smoke all over.............. must like to be eaten no weirdos please
Bruised ego?
Whiskey Blue - Thursday night - m4w - 37 (Atlanta)
To the attractive brunette who slapped me tonight....you have serious anger management issues. I hope you get a good therapist soon, because you need one. Big time. I feel sorry for you. Now go and get yourself some help.
This is NOT an invite to get laid. I want to help you, I really do. With my hungry hungry dick.
STOP HERE AVAL-SBM 4 U - m4w - 36 (EAST POINT)
Any woman SICK of the dating sites/night club scene/ perverted ads/ and fake men. HIT me up for an experience that you will never forget THIS is not an invite to get laid. Only serious woman who are hungry to express themselves. GOOD HUMOR MAN WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONDS.
Wow.
I can f*ck for hours!!! - w4w (The park )
Mmm, remember that time you watched as me and my hombre were actin like we was fucking under the blanket and then we really started fucking? Or that time, you ate me out in the bathroom after I took a shower? Gimme a call...I want that back!
Man has erection, will travel by rocket to your pants.
I Just Switched From Viagra To Cialis And...
I just switched from Viagra to Cialis (with a capitol C & V) and now my adventure capitol is flush with flesh. I'm ready for action at any time with out the need to prepare for an intimate encounter. Sort of like when I was 16, only I'm 55. Just one small daily dose and my rocket is ready for takeoff at a moments notice.
I've read some retarded things in my time. But trying to score drugs off Craigslist?
MC with My Dope Spot (Williamsburg)
Hey...I've been away from my favorite substance for years and have no clue where to cop and not get ripped off, etc. Anyone with advice, hit me back. Be willing to compensate someone who'd help.
Quite a normal nice advert really, but it's worth posting for using the phrase 'brain fart'. I have no idea what it means but I laughed. And that's all I care about.
Cute Girl Buying Phillies Blunt - m4w - 27 (miami)
Cute girl at the CVS off the US1 buying munchies and 2 cigars, you were wearing white shorts and sandals. You smiled at me and I must've looked like I didn't care, but I was running errands and had a brain fart. I should have said hello or something. I was the dude with the beard & striped shirt. Get back if you can, but if you can't, you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. :) 420
Paedophiles are so open these days!
uhd officer in the front - m4m - 24 (Downtown)
I love going to school to look at you in your uniform. Your really cute. If your into guys let me know.
'Walking like a proud shrimp'. Even has a picture of the mentioned shrimp. They look f*cking proud.
Horace the Manager of the Fish Deli
... you were walking like a proud shrimp today!--you walk so cute...you're shrimps today was too small or I would have got some just to fry the tails to perfection!....perfection! ps I will send a note to your bossman to tell him how gracias you are
Man stuck in relationship due to dependancy on man for money. Man needs a new relationship to get away from old relationship. Must have money. Frickin' moochers.
Marry UP - 25 (Montrose)
Hey guys, Hanging at Starbucks in Montrose. Trapped in a relationship I am forced to be in because my boyfriend takes care of me. I will be at Starbucks from 11-3 today. I prefer guys 30-55 who have a stable job and room in their place and heart for me. I cannot give out my number because my boyfriend pays for my cell phone and checks all the numbers I call. Please come by and rescue me. I need new relationship yesterday!!! My name is Geoff.
YEEEEEE-f*cking-HAAAAAA.
Jolie, you've outdone yourself
now you need to step down from your f'n high horse and start learnin' to lasso like a real cowgirl without all the cumbrous sentences. Jimbob was actually a good match for you even though he left your teeth in a cup at the motel in Jackson Hole. God Bless.
What sort of a bastard would take the piss out of a kid trying to get money to go to school? Me, thats who. Learn to spell chump, 18 years of school and you type this puddle of shite? And what the f*ck is going on with the picture??? Is the 'w' in 'pwease' intentional? I'm so angry, HULK SMASH.
take me shopping pwease - w4m - 18 (southwest)
hey im leaveing for school tuesday and i still havint gon school shopping i need someone to take meeh and sposer the trip can u help text meeh:) eight three 2 six three three twenty six zero2
Women like idiots, it's official. I have a chance.
to the douche-bag at the horseshoe last night - w4m - 27 (marina / cow hollow)
You had a classy v-neck t-shirt that was too small, and a suggestive hole in the crotch of your designer jeans. The whole time you were spilling tequilla shots on everone around you and proudly displaying your colorful panties. I found your spilling yours/mine/many other patrons drinks on my friends and me, coupled with your consequent steadfast and unfaltering ignoring of this douch bag move entirely irresistable.
Dirtiest pair of mouthes ever. They would make a good couple.
Morgan At C*ckBl*ck 2/14 - w4m
I spilled whiskey, you licked it up. You spilled your drink, I licked it up. Wish I asked for your number.
So is this a 50 year old man inviting women to a motel to smoke weed and crack? I like the addition of 'no weirdos' to the the end.
rocks and stems and sex - m4w - 56 (coral gables)
lets go shopping in the grove and then we can party at a nice motel while we blow smoke all over.............. must like to be eaten no weirdos please
Bruised ego?
Whiskey Blue - Thursday night - m4w - 37 (Atlanta)
To the attractive brunette who slapped me tonight....you have serious anger management issues. I hope you get a good therapist soon, because you need one. Big time. I feel sorry for you. Now go and get yourself some help.
This is NOT an invite to get laid. I want to help you, I really do. With my hungry hungry dick.
STOP HERE AVAL-SBM 4 U - m4w - 36 (EAST POINT)
Any woman SICK of the dating sites/night club scene/ perverted ads/ and fake men. HIT me up for an experience that you will never forget THIS is not an invite to get laid. Only serious woman who are hungry to express themselves. GOOD HUMOR MAN WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONDS.
Wow.
I can f*ck for hours!!! - w4w (The park )
Mmm, remember that time you watched as me and my hombre were actin like we was fucking under the blanket and then we really started fucking? Or that time, you ate me out in the bathroom after I took a shower? Gimme a call...I want that back!
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Personal ad marriage proposal - good idea?
My favourite insult in Craigslist Missed Connections today was f*cktard tw@t.
Someone with more time to d1ck about than me replies to an earlier Craigslist advert.
Ref: PUBLIX..TALL BLACK MAN, SHAVED HEAD, ORANGE? SHIRT THURS 2/5 - w4
I saw you, you were the nasty looking ho who kept staring at me. Contact me, I think I can make some money off you over on MLK if I clean you up a bit. Yea, you know I love you Baby...
I've not worked out who this is written to. Maybe he just wants to tell the world 'I LOVE T1TS!'
Miss looking at my buddy's wife - m4w (Houston)
My wife and I went on a vavcation with our friends...we eventually got the wifes to get topless on the beach. My buddy's wife had the most perfect set of t1ts. I got to jack off to them that evening. I sure miss looking at them! Too bad we could not be with them several weekends ago...think we might have swapped wifes! SH1T!
I'm not going to be mean about this one, it's sweet I think. I love the heart-ripping reference. MORTAL COMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
i'm really missing you - m4w - 22 (sugar land)
you ripped out my heart like you were kano from mortal kombat I want it back
I wonder why he hasn't succeeded so far. Possibly the repeated assaults on her booty might be a factor?
Indian Girl on the B Train - m4w - 26 (Brooklyn)
You bumped into me on the B train. I touched your b*tt a few times but you didnt turn around :( I would like to touch it again....)
Um. eh? Picture included.
Unit: Android. Status: Tinkering. - m4w - 27 (Greenpoint)
Environment: Sopping Wet.
Olfactory: Biodiesel and WVO fumes.
Culprit: Hippiepants.
This has some amazing pun work, and I love the use of moobs. Never until now have I seen 'moobs' used in a sexual way.
Re: On Your Porch - m4m - 26 (Inwood Forest)
I had a great time too. All I got to say is we need to get baby oil, rip the sheets off of the waterbed, and rasttle naked. I can't wait to feel your moobs. I don't think my bf would mind, he likes to watch. I will dust off the sling in the attic and bust out the liquid latex for a great night in...and out...and back in again. Cum over and lets finger it out!
And finally... one of the most half-@rsed, crushingly sh1t marriage proposals I've ever seen.
my playmate
will u marry me
Someone with more time to d1ck about than me replies to an earlier Craigslist advert.
Ref: PUBLIX..TALL BLACK MAN, SHAVED HEAD, ORANGE? SHIRT THURS 2/5 - w4
I saw you, you were the nasty looking ho who kept staring at me. Contact me, I think I can make some money off you over on MLK if I clean you up a bit. Yea, you know I love you Baby...
I've not worked out who this is written to. Maybe he just wants to tell the world 'I LOVE T1TS!'
Miss looking at my buddy's wife - m4w (Houston)
My wife and I went on a vavcation with our friends...we eventually got the wifes to get topless on the beach. My buddy's wife had the most perfect set of t1ts. I got to jack off to them that evening. I sure miss looking at them! Too bad we could not be with them several weekends ago...think we might have swapped wifes! SH1T!
I'm not going to be mean about this one, it's sweet I think. I love the heart-ripping reference. MORTAL COMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
i'm really missing you - m4w - 22 (sugar land)
you ripped out my heart like you were kano from mortal kombat I want it back
I wonder why he hasn't succeeded so far. Possibly the repeated assaults on her booty might be a factor?
Indian Girl on the B Train - m4w - 26 (Brooklyn)
You bumped into me on the B train. I touched your b*tt a few times but you didnt turn around :( I would like to touch it again....)
Um. eh? Picture included.
Unit: Android. Status: Tinkering. - m4w - 27 (Greenpoint)
Environment: Sopping Wet.
Olfactory: Biodiesel and WVO fumes.
Culprit: Hippiepants.
This has some amazing pun work, and I love the use of moobs. Never until now have I seen 'moobs' used in a sexual way.
Re: On Your Porch - m4m - 26 (Inwood Forest)
I had a great time too. All I got to say is we need to get baby oil, rip the sheets off of the waterbed, and rasttle naked. I can't wait to feel your moobs. I don't think my bf would mind, he likes to watch. I will dust off the sling in the attic and bust out the liquid latex for a great night in...and out...and back in again. Cum over and lets finger it out!
And finally... one of the most half-@rsed, crushingly sh1t marriage proposals I've ever seen.
my playmate
will u marry me
Conservapedia.com terrifies even me USA USA!
Holy moly it conservapedia.com, not sure how to describe it except it's like wikipedia. For maniacs. Read amazing articles on evolution (actually, they state that 'only 40% of Americans believe in evolution in 2005'. Suddenly the people on Craigslist start to make sense), how homosexuals are violent slags, and global warming isn't our fault. It's great, and by great I mean terrible.
I didn't even get to the section on Barack Obama, f*ck only knows what's written about him. He's probably a martian. a gay muslim martian.
Thank you America.
I didn't even get to the section on Barack Obama, f*ck only knows what's written about him. He's probably a martian. a gay muslim martian.
Thank you America.
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Tuesday
Personal Ads are fun until you wake up with your balls in your mouth
I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....
Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++
More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #
Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM
Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)
The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.
I curious to see what sort of responses this sort of advert gets, and how she responds! I shall reply, we'll see...
Any REAL SugarMen Available? - w4m - 22 (Nyc)
No GAMES.....SERIOUS Gentlemen Only! I know what you Want.... Seeking A Wealthy, Healthy, Respecful, Middle Aged, Generous BENEFACTOR for Fun Times, Pampering, Spoiling and NON Stop DISCREET Adult Fun With An Amazing Bombshell of a Vixen SUCH as Myself.....
Man turns up with a leg of lamb. Man not happy.
R U LOOKING FOR - m4m
GREAT H3AD BRING YOUR MEAT TO THE HOLE PRIVATE 'DISCREET HIV NEG SO U BE TOO AND U MUST BE AT LEAST 18 Y/O HUNG UNCUT A +++++++++++
More meat. This time man eats pet cat.
the sexest cop ever - m4w - 30 (bushwick)
i know i did u wrong but i love u so much n miss u so much.i been dieing 2 c u again in that cop uniform u look so sexy if u read this u know who i im no 1 ever eat that p*ssy like me so call me you have my #
Intriguing...
Carraturo (all over florida)
You can run but you can't hide... FINDJOHNCARRATURO.COM
Go get 'em tiger!
Bikini beach - Saturday Night - Blackberry in zebra rubber (1960)
I have a missed connection with whoever stole my blackberry saturday night::: To who the f*ck ever stole my blackberry 8310 that was in a zebra print rubber, GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK, it fell out of my hand and two mins later was turned off, I WORK AT THE CLUB AND AM SEVERLY P1SSED!!!! Also you were so effin stupid that you made a phone call off it, to a HOME NUMBER, well guess what, 411.com reverse phone search, I HAVE THE ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CALLED AND I WILL CALL THE POLICE AND GO TO THE HOUSE, I AM ON A HUNT FOR MY PHONE I HAVE ALOT ON THE PHONE AND I LOVE IT!!! GIVE ME MY PHONE OR SOMEONES GETTING IN ALOT OF TROUBLE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You may reply to this email && i will tell you where to meet me to give me back my f*ckin blackberry and everything will be cool or you can meet me at whoevers house you called when i go there later, with the cops if my phone isnt on the way . ;)
The only thing that turns me on more than angry lesbians is unicorns.
Look how white everything is. - w4w - 28 (The L Train)
Miserable f*ck seeks a narcissistic double to feel a sense of shared superiority over all those happy ignoramuses via obsessive and pretentious and scrupulously copy-edited gchat convos. White people like me, or at least they ought to. Hipster-hating queers, cancerstick-sucking vegans, anti-intellectual intellectuals, and posttransexual upholders of the gender binary welcome. Passionate nihilism, boundary issues, and a propensity to escape reality via antisocial drinking a plus. Why be a dyke without drama. We missed each other because we were both trying to find shitty wikipedia articles. I like unicorns too.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Funny Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday
Houston, Miami and old faithful Atlanta dazzled me today. People seemed too be weird today. Is it a full moon?
What a compliment.
Oh Mary - m4w (Rktqnspace)
The one who's not so hairy...
Boobers. my word of the day.
poops! (To the left)
i wanna drink jager from your boobers...
A vicious reply to an initial post. Yet another reason why posting on Craigslist is insane.
RE:Former Coworker - Slow day - m4w - 36 (Westchase)
I know who you both are and I am about to rat you two out, after all you both deserve to be if you are going to cheat on your spouses!
This person should be in a ward. A locked ward.
To the fortune hunters looking for attention,
keep on keeping the pigeons cozy in the old underpants, releasing them occasionally to bring you back a few pussy willows to garnish the scrambled eggs you serve yourself each day.
A great response to an earlier ad. Finally someone posts a reason why they don't want to hook up with a person who looks for them on Craigslist.
Ref: you kept looking at me at joe's coffee - m4w (east atlanta)
Of course I kept looking at you, you were picking your nose, looking at your fingers and licking them, yuck. And what's with that pink shirt and spiked dyed hair? I left because I was afraid you might come over near me..
And of course I can't go a day without being amused by the gays ads. I may be missing the point here, but it seems to me that if you're gonna bum a guy through a glory hole then you really must think they're ugly. I don't understand.
MASC GLORYHOLE GUY/ INSERECTION - m4m - 36 (ATLANTA)
HEY MAN, YOU TOLD ME TO MEET YOU AFTER WORK AT INSERCTION AT LINBERGH, THE NEW ONE THATS BEEN REDONE IN THE BACK.. THANKS FOR SUCKING ME OFF, MY WIFE NOT GOOD AT IT AND I WOULD LIKE A REGULAR. (CONSTRUCTION GUY HERE) TELL ME WHAT I WAS WEARING, LIKE TO MEET YOU AGAIN, DO YOU EVER BOTTOM THROUGH THAT HOLE? LET ME KNOW.. WHAT TIME DID WE MEET AND WHERE DID WE PARK IF THIS IS YOU.
What a compliment.
Oh Mary - m4w (Rktqnspace)
The one who's not so hairy...
Boobers. my word of the day.
poops! (To the left)
i wanna drink jager from your boobers...
A vicious reply to an initial post. Yet another reason why posting on Craigslist is insane.
RE:Former Coworker - Slow day - m4w - 36 (Westchase)
I know who you both are and I am about to rat you two out, after all you both deserve to be if you are going to cheat on your spouses!
This person should be in a ward. A locked ward.
To the fortune hunters looking for attention,
keep on keeping the pigeons cozy in the old underpants, releasing them occasionally to bring you back a few pussy willows to garnish the scrambled eggs you serve yourself each day.
A great response to an earlier ad. Finally someone posts a reason why they don't want to hook up with a person who looks for them on Craigslist.
Ref: you kept looking at me at joe's coffee - m4w (east atlanta)
Of course I kept looking at you, you were picking your nose, looking at your fingers and licking them, yuck. And what's with that pink shirt and spiked dyed hair? I left because I was afraid you might come over near me..
And of course I can't go a day without being amused by the gays ads. I may be missing the point here, but it seems to me that if you're gonna bum a guy through a glory hole then you really must think they're ugly. I don't understand.
MASC GLORYHOLE GUY/ INSERECTION - m4m - 36 (ATLANTA)
HEY MAN, YOU TOLD ME TO MEET YOU AFTER WORK AT INSERCTION AT LINBERGH, THE NEW ONE THATS BEEN REDONE IN THE BACK.. THANKS FOR SUCKING ME OFF, MY WIFE NOT GOOD AT IT AND I WOULD LIKE A REGULAR. (CONSTRUCTION GUY HERE) TELL ME WHAT I WAS WEARING, LIKE TO MEET YOU AGAIN, DO YOU EVER BOTTOM THROUGH THAT HOLE? LET ME KNOW.. WHAT TIME DID WE MEET AND WHERE DID WE PARK IF THIS IS YOU.
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday
Today the theme seemed to be men turned on by farting women in Houston. Yes, it really was.
New modelling and entertainment company huh? Looking for models huh? Sure I believe you.
Lookn 4 Real Woman - 19 (Georgia)
I Have A entertainment Company Thats Coming Up And We Are Lookn For Up And Coming Dancers And Models Get At Me If You Wanna Be Down
This girl he's looking for sounds kind of great. I'd marry any girl that told me that I 'want that burrito up my @ss like a f*ggot bitch'. Wow.
You called him midget Dik - m4w - 29 (Humble)
You were at Taco Bell on Sunday afternoon wearing a LV Cashmere sweater and long blond hair with some tight spandex pants. You were with a much older man that Resembled Mr. Rogers , which I thought was your dad but ended up being your boyfriend you kept staring at me and when I sat down you sat doen right across from me, I kept hearing you talking to him calling him names like midget d1k and frog lips, you even called him sausage face, you kept degrading him and I think he liked it, especially when you told him if he wants that burrito up his @ss like a f*ggot b1tch he is. Anyways y, too make a long story short I really digged you and want to know if you want to go out and do something this weekend. I was the one wearing the bycicle shorts and yellow shirt, and No that wasnt a banana in my pocket I was just excited to see you. : )
Nothing special here, except he has a profile on an amusing sounding site.
Galleria Mall - m4m - 22 (Atlanta)
We chatted a bit outside the mall. Name is Ben you were Brent. I think we should get to know each other, you're very cute. I have a pfoile on DowntownDudes.com, hit me up there
I don't care what anyone says, farting is funny. Girls farting is even funnier. Girls farting in men's faces by mistake? Life-affirming.
You Passed Gas While Dancin At Chayn's - m4w (Houston)
The smell actually turned me on. Would love to see you again...
And last, but definitely not least... This is amazing. I particularly like the way the guy is obviously trying to minimise the embarassment for the girl, by explaining the entire situation in huge detail. Yup that'll work mate. Go on, put her full name in there while you're at it.
you put your ass in my face and passed gas - m4w - 28 (Woodlands)
We were at the ninth hole, and you were dancing on me while I was sitting down, then you bent over and backed up and put your ass in my face, I grabbed it and all of a sudden you let one rip right in my face, everybody started laughing but I felt bad , the look on your face, I know you were embarrased and ran out crying, I know it was an accident. I only ran after you to tell you it was allright but you were pretty upset, and told me your stomach was bubblin you had to get home pretty fast, you gave me your # but i just remembered the first 6 NUMBERS. your name is Lin Shan Wu and live in the woodlands. if anybody knows her tell her Jaime wants to meet her and put this behind us.
New modelling and entertainment company huh? Looking for models huh? Sure I believe you.
Lookn 4 Real Woman - 19 (Georgia)
I Have A entertainment Company Thats Coming Up And We Are Lookn For Up And Coming Dancers And Models Get At Me If You Wanna Be Down
This girl he's looking for sounds kind of great. I'd marry any girl that told me that I 'want that burrito up my @ss like a f*ggot bitch'. Wow.
You called him midget Dik - m4w - 29 (Humble)
You were at Taco Bell on Sunday afternoon wearing a LV Cashmere sweater and long blond hair with some tight spandex pants. You were with a much older man that Resembled Mr. Rogers , which I thought was your dad but ended up being your boyfriend you kept staring at me and when I sat down you sat doen right across from me, I kept hearing you talking to him calling him names like midget d1k and frog lips, you even called him sausage face, you kept degrading him and I think he liked it, especially when you told him if he wants that burrito up his @ss like a f*ggot b1tch he is. Anyways y, too make a long story short I really digged you and want to know if you want to go out and do something this weekend. I was the one wearing the bycicle shorts and yellow shirt, and No that wasnt a banana in my pocket I was just excited to see you. : )
Nothing special here, except he has a profile on an amusing sounding site.
Galleria Mall - m4m - 22 (Atlanta)
We chatted a bit outside the mall. Name is Ben you were Brent. I think we should get to know each other, you're very cute. I have a pfoile on DowntownDudes.com, hit me up there
I don't care what anyone says, farting is funny. Girls farting is even funnier. Girls farting in men's faces by mistake? Life-affirming.
You Passed Gas While Dancin At Chayn's - m4w (Houston)
The smell actually turned me on. Would love to see you again...
And last, but definitely not least... This is amazing. I particularly like the way the guy is obviously trying to minimise the embarassment for the girl, by explaining the entire situation in huge detail. Yup that'll work mate. Go on, put her full name in there while you're at it.
you put your ass in my face and passed gas - m4w - 28 (Woodlands)
We were at the ninth hole, and you were dancing on me while I was sitting down, then you bent over and backed up and put your ass in my face, I grabbed it and all of a sudden you let one rip right in my face, everybody started laughing but I felt bad , the look on your face, I know you were embarrased and ran out crying, I know it was an accident. I only ran after you to tell you it was allright but you were pretty upset, and told me your stomach was bubblin you had to get home pretty fast, you gave me your # but i just remembered the first 6 NUMBERS. your name is Lin Shan Wu and live in the woodlands. if anybody knows her tell her Jaime wants to meet her and put this behind us.
Friday, 23 January 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Friday - Freaks of the States UNITE!
Thanks to Sara for these missed connections from a bunch of different cities. Just goes to show that nutters don't all come from Atlanta. They come from Houston and San Francisco too.
I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?
Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....
Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.
An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks
I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)
Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.
The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!
This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted
I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?
The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!
THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.
Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.
Stumble It!
I have nothing amusing to say.
you sold me a b*tt plug at codoms to go this week - m4w - 26 (northwest hwy)
I was in buying a b*tt plug and some other things. I told you I just broke up with my gf and was tierd of using my finger. Please email me back. What else did I buy so I know its you?
Just "taking care of business" brother, taking care of business.
24 Hour shower stroke - m4m - 37 (24 Hour Fitness)
Saw you again tonight in the shower at one of the 24 Hour locations, just after 7pm. There was one guy showering in the stall between us, but then he left. I loved watching you soap up your awesome c0ck and the eye contact back and forth was hot. I wasn't completely sure if you were putting on a show for me or just "taking care of business". When I started stroking, it was clear that we were turning each other on. I showed you my a*s several times and you seemed to like it. As a said to you in the shower, "Any time!" We should take it out of the gym next time. What 24 Hour location were we at and what color shorts dd you work out in tonight? You were a white t-shirt...hit me up....
Great title!
hey weird tall guy - w4m - 24
you caught me off guard tonight. I was there to be with my friend. while I was slightly agitated by your interruption, you did bring up some good points. I was not ready to give you my number. We can talk on Yahoo or AIM if you get this.
An even greater title!
You're so hot you're making me sexist - w4m - 24 (The Bar)
I meet you one night at Flanagans I don't know if you'll remember me but you bought me drinks. I can't remember much but I wanted to thank you and maybe share some more drinks
I've been waiting for this advert for 28 years.
English Accents - w4m - 23 (Houston)
I want to go on a date with an attractive Englishmen with a relatively stong English accent :) range between 25-35 yrs....
contact me with your pic :)
Chatting up girls in Walmart is bad for your health.
Walmart in Canyon Country, you were wearing the Coors light hoodie - m4w - 26 (Canyon Country)
So the last time i talked to a girl in Walmart, her boyfriend came from the next isle over and gave me a black eye. We made eye contact, in the toothbrush isle, and now i have some useless tube of toothpaste that i didn't mean to buy. I blame you. I want you so bad.
The thrust of a stallion.
cute guy who broke the bed - w4m - 47 (west)
are you the great man who broke my bed? the incrediable kisser who made my heart get all mushy? i seem to have lost you!! you know who you are, i want you!!
This man has got it pretty right I reckon.
You had me at "Get on your knees". - 24 (Chicago)
How could you not read this with a title like that. Ok so I feel like giving a little rant about Craigslist and decided to post it in the Missed Connections section because it is obviously the best section to read and laugh at. After reading a number of these ads and actually seeing pictures of people I have decided to translate some things for everyone: Craigslist dictionairy: Curvy: Fat
Fun: Desperate
A bit heavy: Obese
Outgoing/Social: Loser
Bigger Girl/Guy: Morbidly Obese/Bed Ridden
Strictly Platonic: I will sleep with you if you are cute
LTR: Never been kissed
New to town: Undercover wh0re
Nice girl/guy: Dork
Don't normally do this: Haven't gotten laid in 3 months
Attractive: Mediocre
Hot: Delusional
Total Package: See Hot
Love kissing/cuddling: Laid 1st date, guaranteed
420 friendly: My dealer just got busted
I actually feel sorry for this dude.
lady whose bed i was in last night - m4w - 22 (garden grove)
where did you go?
The location speaks volumes.
Sucked you off at Nob Hill theatre - m4m - 37 (nob hill)
I had the pleasure of going down on your tasty c*ck this Wednesday afternoon. You're tall, wearing a black cap, Chapion brand boxer shorts, and a jacket. Would love being of service once again, same place. Hopefully you'll read this and be interested enough to respond. It was hot!
THIS A*S IS YOURS. Imagine him saying it whilst holding a gun to your head. Happy F*cking Christmas.
Steamworks - m4m - 30 (berkeley)
Christmas morning You latin Me black You said you were all top, and you proved it well. I had not been fu*ked in months (I don't often bottom, I usually top), and never had a c*ck of that size in me, and by the time we were done, i wanted that c*ck to stay in. I wouldn't mind repeating. Confirm some details, (the positions and how I came) and this ass is yours.
Graphic. And refers to his c*ck in the 3rd person. This c*ck has a name people, and his name is Jeff.
taboo video on 1st (gloryhole booth)
There was no waiting mouth on the other side for my c*ck at lunch time. Oh haow sad he is now. He does enjoy nice clean mouths that look forward to receiving his nice clean white sp3rm from his black head. Oh well, maybe next time.
Stumble It!
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Craigslist Missed Connections Wednesday - Miaaaaaami
I said it yesterday, I'll say it again. People on Craigslist in Miami are confident. I guess that's a good way to put it... And while we're discussing Miami, I'd like to thank a Brooke H - 37, for posting a picture of his c0ck, with what looked like an arab strap attached. I opened the page unsuspectingly at work and screamed as i tried to get the bl0ody thing off my screen. I've not had a warning mail from work so I may have got away with it, we'll see...
New rule for me with this stuff. Don't open ones with pictures at work! Right, back to business.
He recognised you AFTER? AFTER??? Imagine if it'd been his brother or something! Chr1st.
Saturday afternoon Club Baths - m4m
Your room was across from mine. I said that you looked like you needed some help with that. After we f*cked you recognized me.... wanna play again?
So he randomly wandered into your room? Again, I'm stunned.
Clubhouse II - Sunday Afternoon - m4m
This is a long shot but what the h*ll. You came in my room and f*cked me face down for a little while. Told you I needed a little break but wanted you to come back. You had a nice BIG c0ck and I wanted more. Would love to go at it with you again. I was in a room in the first hallway. Tell me what room i was in so i'll know it was you.
Now THIS is a man who knows what he wants. And he wants it NOW!
Dicey Riley's Late Sat. Night Jan. 17 - m4w - 33 (Las Olas)
You put out my cigarette, I guessed your nationality, you never gave me your number, how much money do you owe me?
I love the stream of conciousness style of writing, try to find the point that it stops being in English.
MARK STWERT OR BIG MARK==DENICE BARRY - m4m - 47 (DELAND)
WE LIVED RIGHT DOWN THE STEET FROM EACH OTHER BIG MARK AND LITTLE MARK HE FLYS A TWIN EMG.PLANE WE LIVED NO WEST NASAW DR. I MOVED FIRST HIS DAD WORKED AIRLINES SIS WAS KIM IF ANY ONE KNOWS WERE THAY ARE OR DINICE BARRY MADEN NANE SIS WAS DAWNNA TYTYVM WE WERE IN MIRAMAR BY SUNSHINE EL. SCHOOL brother tony barry tytyvm all
Hahahahahaha another man with focus and drive.
Was it really you???????????? - 99 (dreams)
I saw you come out of the bathroom with coke on your nose. You winked at me and we exchanged glances from across the room. You drank about 13 Jagerbombs in 2 hours and passed out on the hostess stand. Doesn't coke keep you awake? You had a horrible b0ob job and your face was peeled back so far it was back in the parking lot.You were wearing heavy blue eyeshadow, a plaid evening gown, and teased blonde-frosted hair. Now you are MY kinda gal. Tell me what I was wearing. Let's meet!
Didn't anyone tell you? Superman is dead.
Superman (not where you are)
Please call. At the very least I deserve a private conversation....
Put your loaf down.
Asian Guy on Bike at Davie Publix (Davie)
You were riding your bike, came into the store and bought a loaf of white bread. We made eye contact a couple of times; you seem very shy. If you see this, write me back. I've got my own loaf of white bread for you .....
One of the most surreal first conversations ever? If it was me, I'd be a little wary, but hey! Fuck it! Throw caution to the wind! Being locked in a dungeon might be your thing.
Dog walking flamingo on the 12th - m4w - 40 (Miami Beach)
You walked your dog, gave way to me - I talked and asked what you would do if I stepped on him... you said you would kill me tht would be the least, but before you would torture me... I came back a few minutes later and said I decide to take the dog... you laughed...... My name is christoph - I missed to ask you if your dog had a facebook site! Please contact me
And last but not least. Me being a child again. 'I ate your b*tt'. Classic.
Hollywood Spice Adult Bookstore - m4m - 39 (Hollywood)
We shared a gloryhole booth yesterday. I ate your b*tt as you got pleasured thru the hole. You left quickly when you were done. I would like to hook up again. Get back to me and let me know what I was wearing.
Stumble It!
New rule for me with this stuff. Don't open ones with pictures at work! Right, back to business.
He recognised you AFTER? AFTER??? Imagine if it'd been his brother or something! Chr1st.
Saturday afternoon Club Baths - m4m
Your room was across from mine. I said that you looked like you needed some help with that. After we f*cked you recognized me.... wanna play again?
So he randomly wandered into your room? Again, I'm stunned.
Clubhouse II - Sunday Afternoon - m4m
This is a long shot but what the h*ll. You came in my room and f*cked me face down for a little while. Told you I needed a little break but wanted you to come back. You had a nice BIG c0ck and I wanted more. Would love to go at it with you again. I was in a room in the first hallway. Tell me what room i was in so i'll know it was you.
Now THIS is a man who knows what he wants. And he wants it NOW!
Dicey Riley's Late Sat. Night Jan. 17 - m4w - 33 (Las Olas)
You put out my cigarette, I guessed your nationality, you never gave me your number, how much money do you owe me?
I love the stream of conciousness style of writing, try to find the point that it stops being in English.
MARK STWERT OR BIG MARK==DENICE BARRY - m4m - 47 (DELAND)
WE LIVED RIGHT DOWN THE STEET FROM EACH OTHER BIG MARK AND LITTLE MARK HE FLYS A TWIN EMG.PLANE WE LIVED NO WEST NASAW DR. I MOVED FIRST HIS DAD WORKED AIRLINES SIS WAS KIM IF ANY ONE KNOWS WERE THAY ARE OR DINICE BARRY MADEN NANE SIS WAS DAWNNA TYTYVM WE WERE IN MIRAMAR BY SUNSHINE EL. SCHOOL brother tony barry tytyvm all
Hahahahahaha another man with focus and drive.
Was it really you???????????? - 99 (dreams)
I saw you come out of the bathroom with coke on your nose. You winked at me and we exchanged glances from across the room. You drank about 13 Jagerbombs in 2 hours and passed out on the hostess stand. Doesn't coke keep you awake? You had a horrible b0ob job and your face was peeled back so far it was back in the parking lot.You were wearing heavy blue eyeshadow, a plaid evening gown, and teased blonde-frosted hair. Now you are MY kinda gal. Tell me what I was wearing. Let's meet!
Didn't anyone tell you? Superman is dead.
Superman (not where you are)
Please call. At the very least I deserve a private conversation....
Put your loaf down.
Asian Guy on Bike at Davie Publix (Davie)
You were riding your bike, came into the store and bought a loaf of white bread. We made eye contact a couple of times; you seem very shy. If you see this, write me back. I've got my own loaf of white bread for you .....
One of the most surreal first conversations ever? If it was me, I'd be a little wary, but hey! Fuck it! Throw caution to the wind! Being locked in a dungeon might be your thing.
Dog walking flamingo on the 12th - m4w - 40 (Miami Beach)
You walked your dog, gave way to me - I talked and asked what you would do if I stepped on him... you said you would kill me tht would be the least, but before you would torture me... I came back a few minutes later and said I decide to take the dog... you laughed...... My name is christoph - I missed to ask you if your dog had a facebook site! Please contact me
And last but not least. Me being a child again. 'I ate your b*tt'. Classic.
Hollywood Spice Adult Bookstore - m4m - 39 (Hollywood)
We shared a gloryhole booth yesterday. I ate your b*tt as you got pleasured thru the hole. You left quickly when you were done. I would like to hook up again. Get back to me and let me know what I was wearing.
Stumble It!
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
On Wednesday we visit Miami...
I'm trying to explore the more interesting towns in Craigslist, tomorrow we'll have a look at Miami. Holy sh1t the streets of Miami must flow with cum, these people are grubby. Actually that's not fair. The people from Miami that post on Craiglist are grubby. And I love them for it.
A taster...
I mean really? And this is a tame one compared to some!
hot bear bartender PJ's - m4m - 30 (Ft Lauderdale)
to the hot bartender at PJ's bar, I see those big b@lls swinging, and I snuck a peek at you pissing(thank god for open windows)nice thick c0ck, I want you realy bad!!!! let me know if your interested.
A taster...
I mean really? And this is a tame one compared to some!
hot bear bartender PJ's - m4m - 30 (Ft Lauderdale)
to the hot bartender at PJ's bar, I see those big b@lls swinging, and I snuck a peek at you pissing(thank god for open windows)nice thick c0ck, I want you realy bad!!!! let me know if your interested.
Tuesday Craigslist Missed Connections
I'm feeling particularly childish today. I even sniggered at one ad that mentioned 'boobie', it's becoming a concern. But hey! Loads to check! A mix of Atlanta and some place in South Carolina...
Possible newspaper headline 'Local butcher tried to sell produce in gym'. I like that there seem to be Craigslist regulars! Funny, and yet terrifying. Wait a minute, I read it each day. O sh1t.
re: hot black male at LAF Toco around 1:30 - m4m
LOLThat same dude was at LAF Buckhead around 4:30pm - shaved head, green pants - trying to wave his meat in the sauna and showers. Only thing was, LAF Buckhead was full of fat guys and trolls at that time.
I'm a child, it shouldn't make me laugh but it did. I'm sorry.
Handy Man - m4w
Any body need there plumbing serviced. I make service calls. North Ga, Cherokee,cobb.
Recommended car repairs and servicing agent in Charleston.
BJ outside Voodoo Lounge - m4w - 27 (JI)
you: gorgeous Asian chick--we made eye contact--went outside--you serviced me in my car THEN YOU SPLIT! I couldn't find you the rest of the night--would love to hook up again
Seriously, I'm like 5 years old. Anything mentioning cable is funny.
Cable Guy - m4m - 25
Recently installed my cable, you were very nice and cute with a firm handshake. Get back to me if you remember me.
Underwear-free salmon smuggler spotted. Reward for capture.
Fisherman - m4m - 45 (Summer's Bend dock )
I know the chances of you reading this are slim to none but I'm getting hard just thinking of you and writing this. You were on the dock fishing and we talked about fishing for awhile. You hooked me for sure. I could tell you were not wearing underwear and you are large in the crouch. I think you caught me looking?
It seems so normal... Chat in a rest area, have a w@nk in front of another dude.
Rest Area - m4m
You and I talked at the rest area and you jerked off for me. Tell me what kind of hat I was wearing. Would like to hook up.
Eh???
blip - 66 (charleston)
blip blip
How many different types of fr1cking beans are there? Beans?? Seriously? He was hunting for her bean. Sorry again, that was crap.
Price Wise - m4w (Hanahan)
You were the chick stocking! I asked you where the beans were... what kinda beans was i looking for?
Best name for a pig EVER. And how many people have pet pigs I ask??
Moe's Rutledge Ave. - m4m - 23 (Downtown Chas., SC)
I saw you and your two friends eating lunch today at Moe's. You were the one wearing shorts and the white T-shirt with circles on the top right shoulder. You had an iPhone. We made eye contact a couple times and I felt a connection. I've never got on craigslist b4, but heard y'all talkin about it and thought i'd give it a try. Overheard your friend talkin about a pet pig. I have a pet pig. His name is Wilbur. Tell me what I was wearing, or just drop me a line!
Possible newspaper headline 'Local butcher tried to sell produce in gym'. I like that there seem to be Craigslist regulars! Funny, and yet terrifying. Wait a minute, I read it each day. O sh1t.
re: hot black male at LAF Toco around 1:30 - m4m
LOLThat same dude was at LAF Buckhead around 4:30pm - shaved head, green pants - trying to wave his meat in the sauna and showers. Only thing was, LAF Buckhead was full of fat guys and trolls at that time.
I'm a child, it shouldn't make me laugh but it did. I'm sorry.
Handy Man - m4w
Any body need there plumbing serviced. I make service calls. North Ga, Cherokee,cobb.
Recommended car repairs and servicing agent in Charleston.
BJ outside Voodoo Lounge - m4w - 27 (JI)
you: gorgeous Asian chick--we made eye contact--went outside--you serviced me in my car THEN YOU SPLIT! I couldn't find you the rest of the night--would love to hook up again
Seriously, I'm like 5 years old. Anything mentioning cable is funny.
Cable Guy - m4m - 25
Recently installed my cable, you were very nice and cute with a firm handshake. Get back to me if you remember me.
Underwear-free salmon smuggler spotted. Reward for capture.
Fisherman - m4m - 45 (Summer's Bend dock )
I know the chances of you reading this are slim to none but I'm getting hard just thinking of you and writing this. You were on the dock fishing and we talked about fishing for awhile. You hooked me for sure. I could tell you were not wearing underwear and you are large in the crouch. I think you caught me looking?
It seems so normal... Chat in a rest area, have a w@nk in front of another dude.
Rest Area - m4m
You and I talked at the rest area and you jerked off for me. Tell me what kind of hat I was wearing. Would like to hook up.
Eh???
blip - 66 (charleston)
blip blip
How many different types of fr1cking beans are there? Beans?? Seriously? He was hunting for her bean. Sorry again, that was crap.
Price Wise - m4w (Hanahan)
You were the chick stocking! I asked you where the beans were... what kinda beans was i looking for?
Best name for a pig EVER. And how many people have pet pigs I ask??
Moe's Rutledge Ave. - m4m - 23 (Downtown Chas., SC)
I saw you and your two friends eating lunch today at Moe's. You were the one wearing shorts and the white T-shirt with circles on the top right shoulder. You had an iPhone. We made eye contact a couple times and I felt a connection. I've never got on craigslist b4, but heard y'all talkin about it and thought i'd give it a try. Overheard your friend talkin about a pet pig. I have a pet pig. His name is Wilbur. Tell me what I was wearing, or just drop me a line!
Monday, 19 January 2009
Monday Craigslist Missed Connections
Soap-sniffing is the new speed-dating.
Pier One, Ansley Mall Sunday - m4m - 50 (Ansley Mall)
We sniffed soap bars together...you are very enigmatic.....
Ahhhhhh...
I want to marry my Dentist - m4w (Buckhead)
I'm so insanely into my Dentist that it's crazy! Holy hell. I'm looking into getting my teeth checked/cleaned every 2 weeks now, rather than every 6 months. Thanks, Doc! I'll be seeing you soon!
Does the 'special drink' contain Rohypnol? And has any man ever scored a girl by telling them their daughter is hot?
Looking for hot Duck - 51 (L'ville)
Never knew "the Duck" had so many beutiful women,hopeing to find hot mom who was with hot daughter! Bartender smytine by your beauty at your company party on Saturday night. Would love to talk you more,you have a fun outlook on life to go with that hot body. Hope you see & get back to me. Love to make you another of my special drink.
Genius. I have so many questions. Is Intersection lubing the new thing? Lubed standing at the intersection or in a car? Why would you be lubed in a car? Why would you be lubed at an intersection?
Roswell Rd. Inserection - m4m - 38
We played yesterday...Sunday..you were lubed up..would like to get together soon.
Coming on pretty strong I reckon, although that could just be me...
Your Dekalb Farmers Market - w4m - 25
I saw you on Saturday afternoon. You were eating alone at the hot bar then we ran into each other in the dairy section. I love you. Hold me?
Pier One, Ansley Mall Sunday - m4m - 50 (Ansley Mall)
We sniffed soap bars together...you are very enigmatic.....
Ahhhhhh...
I want to marry my Dentist - m4w (Buckhead)
I'm so insanely into my Dentist that it's crazy! Holy hell. I'm looking into getting my teeth checked/cleaned every 2 weeks now, rather than every 6 months. Thanks, Doc! I'll be seeing you soon!
Does the 'special drink' contain Rohypnol? And has any man ever scored a girl by telling them their daughter is hot?
Looking for hot Duck - 51 (L'ville)
Never knew "the Duck" had so many beutiful women,hopeing to find hot mom who was with hot daughter! Bartender smytine by your beauty at your company party on Saturday night. Would love to talk you more,you have a fun outlook on life to go with that hot body. Hope you see & get back to me. Love to make you another of my special drink.
Genius. I have so many questions. Is Intersection lubing the new thing? Lubed standing at the intersection or in a car? Why would you be lubed in a car? Why would you be lubed at an intersection?
Roswell Rd. Inserection - m4m - 38
We played yesterday...Sunday..you were lubed up..would like to get together soon.
Coming on pretty strong I reckon, although that could just be me...
Your Dekalb Farmers Market - w4m - 25
I saw you on Saturday afternoon. You were eating alone at the hot bar then we ran into each other in the dairy section. I love you. Hold me?
Sunday, 18 January 2009
Sunday Craigslist Missed Connections
Any man will do...
Ridiculously Hot Guys in Hooters at Cumberland Mall !!! - m4m
I was at Hooters near Cumberland Mall tonight checking out the awesome UFC fights with my buddies. I could barely enjoy the fights due to all of the super hot guys that were walking around the place! Im a bi guy and the chicks were hot too, but the guys definitely won this bout! If any of you wanna meet up, hit me back, with pics (if possible) and we can set something up! Rich Franklin was ROBBED!!!
I love the self confidence.
Desperately Seeking Heather - m4w - 48 (Atlanta)
You - rental agent working properties near stadium Me - master cunn1lguist, 420 friendly. We should have hooked up in December but did not. I want you desperately. Email me and let's connect today.
I have an announcement to make...
tony college guy - m4m - 43 (atlanta)
f*cked you at cheshire motor lodge then again at euros last sunday you are hot as hell
I'm f*cking AWESOME, I'll lick your spam. Love the picture.
real women in shape WANTED for swet, steamy,hotty massage - m4w - 36 (cobb)
please be real and dont send SPAM LIKS,, all spam will be baned and reported
Today's Missed Connections was a little disappointing, but then this came along. Holy cow.
Russian guy waving a big uncut meat in the JeJu sauna - m4m - 27
About 2pm Sunday - you came in the dry sauna, said you were partying hard last night and had to exfoliate - we talked about saunas in different cities and you asked, "Can you do anything in those saunas?" Then you flopped your f0reskin a bit and smiled. I played with my f0reskin, too, then that ugly fat @ss old man walked in. You left and lounged on the chairs awhile in one of those nifty orange outfits, and I had to leave, sorry. Sure would like to meet up and play, if you're around and you see this.
Ridiculously Hot Guys in Hooters at Cumberland Mall !!! - m4m
I was at Hooters near Cumberland Mall tonight checking out the awesome UFC fights with my buddies. I could barely enjoy the fights due to all of the super hot guys that were walking around the place! Im a bi guy and the chicks were hot too, but the guys definitely won this bout! If any of you wanna meet up, hit me back, with pics (if possible) and we can set something up! Rich Franklin was ROBBED!!!
I love the self confidence.
Desperately Seeking Heather - m4w - 48 (Atlanta)
You - rental agent working properties near stadium Me - master cunn1lguist, 420 friendly. We should have hooked up in December but did not. I want you desperately. Email me and let's connect today.
I have an announcement to make...
tony college guy - m4m - 43 (atlanta)
f*cked you at cheshire motor lodge then again at euros last sunday you are hot as hell
I'm f*cking AWESOME, I'll lick your spam. Love the picture.
real women in shape WANTED for swet, steamy,hotty massage - m4w - 36 (cobb)
please be real and dont send SPAM LIKS,, all spam will be baned and reported
Today's Missed Connections was a little disappointing, but then this came along. Holy cow.
Russian guy waving a big uncut meat in the JeJu sauna - m4m - 27
About 2pm Sunday - you came in the dry sauna, said you were partying hard last night and had to exfoliate - we talked about saunas in different cities and you asked, "Can you do anything in those saunas?" Then you flopped your f0reskin a bit and smiled. I played with my f0reskin, too, then that ugly fat @ss old man walked in. You left and lounged on the chairs awhile in one of those nifty orange outfits, and I had to leave, sorry. Sure would like to meet up and play, if you're around and you see this.
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Saturday Missed Connections
Pumps you full of his seed? Crumbs...
Stumble It!
you're too smart for me to prove it but the cum stains on your panties tell me at least part of the picture. You've also stepped up your self awareness of your appearance in clothing and make up. You're overly happy these days as well and spending time meeting "friends" in the evening much more often than in the past. It's no wonder he is helping you wherever he can. You're or bad bitch, worthy of only the best. I just want you to know that not only am I ok with this, but it gives me a huge thrill. He's snipped and probably pumps you full of his seed regularly. Why won't you let me in onthe secret or at least give me some clues. You'll probably never see this but if you stumble across it, write me and come clean about your undercover adventures. It could really heat things up.
Packing a nice what?
Packing a nice what?
LA Fitness - m4m - 35 (Toco Hills)
Did anyone else see the hottie in the locker room in the blue CK briefs this afternoon? Wow, he was packing a nice pouch! I know he saw me staring as I finished getting dressed. Wish I'd had the nerve to at least say hello.
Terrifying attention to detail...
Did anyone else see the hottie in the locker room in the blue CK briefs this afternoon? Wow, he was packing a nice pouch! I know he saw me staring as I finished getting dressed. Wish I'd had the nerve to at least say hello.
Terrifying attention to detail...
Visually appealing is all I kept thinking as I struggled to order my lunch while quietly appreciating you. You were tending bar at the Applebee’s in Jonesboro this afternoon. I was attracted to you smooth yellow skin and long black hair. You were wearing all black and I noticed the tattoo that you have above your left breast. I think a woman with glasses is sexy and you looked even better when you let them rest on your head. I was there between 12:30 and 2pm. I should have said something or at the very least introduced myself. If you don’t see this I will be back another day to try my hand. You did it for me, and I’m sure there is a lot more to you.
Am I being a cynical bugger in thinking this ad is a little disturbing?
Am I being a cynical bugger in thinking this ad is a little disturbing?
were looking for young married couples that want to hang out. we just moved and are looking to find fun couples that driink and ave kids to hang out and go out when the kids have sitters. let us know were very hot couple and fun open to anything les u sknow!!!!!! we want couples with kids that can get out all the time and would like to hang out with kids somethimes
Perfectly normal ad, but is the picture the writer??
Perfectly normal ad, but is the picture the writer??
I see you almost everyday. Saw you last night while I was out, are you ever going to ask me out?
Looking to re-connect with Batman, the Boy Wonder, or FiendishOneAtl.
Stumble It!
Friday, 16 January 2009
Friday Craigslist Missed Connections cont.
Today is a good day for Atlanta...
Awesome...
Cheese anyone? - m4w - 26 (Poncey )
Your girlfriend is gorgeous. The way she arches when you kiss the small of her back is phenomenal. We should have some baked Gruyere cheese sometime. If you're not interested, close the blinds to your bedroom window.
It's your personality I like...
LOOKING FOR WOMAN I SAW IN WAL-MART WITH BIG BO*BS - 56 (CARTERSVILLE)
I ONLY SAW YOU FROM THE SIDE BUT MAN YOU WERE BUILT. I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE GONE. IF YOU WERE AT WAL-MART AND HAVE BIG BO*BS, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME. I DID NOT REALLY SEE YOUR FACE BECAUSE I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.
Good time-keeping is important...
Town Center Belks - m4m
Looking for the guy who sucked me off at Belks today around 3:45
What's a woman got to do to get laid she asks?
Missed Connection with Men in General - w4m - 34 (East Atlanta)
Why do you ask for my phone number and then not call? Why do you set up a date and then not follow through? Why do you monopolize me for an entire night and then act like it never happened the next day? Did you hope I'd go home with you that night and since I didn't, you decided that I didn't matter? Konw that when you do this it hurts me. How can I think you're not like the others when my past experience has taught me otherwise? How can I believe or even hope that you might be different? What's a woman got to do to get laid?!
And the reply this lady got?...
RE: Missed Connection with Men in General (A*sholopolis)
That's pretty much how we treat all fat girls. Put the twinkie down and buy a treadmill.
The male gender is a savage one...
I like this. Someone with less to do than me.
Old Mcdonalds had a Farm... - m4w - 27 (Marietta)
IEIEOOOOOO
Stumble It!
Awesome...
Cheese anyone? - m4w - 26 (Poncey )
Your girlfriend is gorgeous. The way she arches when you kiss the small of her back is phenomenal. We should have some baked Gruyere cheese sometime. If you're not interested, close the blinds to your bedroom window.
It's your personality I like...
LOOKING FOR WOMAN I SAW IN WAL-MART WITH BIG BO*BS - 56 (CARTERSVILLE)
I ONLY SAW YOU FROM THE SIDE BUT MAN YOU WERE BUILT. I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE GONE. IF YOU WERE AT WAL-MART AND HAVE BIG BO*BS, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME. I DID NOT REALLY SEE YOUR FACE BECAUSE I COULD NOT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOUR BODY. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.
Good time-keeping is important...
Town Center Belks - m4m
Looking for the guy who sucked me off at Belks today around 3:45
What's a woman got to do to get laid she asks?
Missed Connection with Men in General - w4m - 34 (East Atlanta)
Why do you ask for my phone number and then not call? Why do you set up a date and then not follow through? Why do you monopolize me for an entire night and then act like it never happened the next day? Did you hope I'd go home with you that night and since I didn't, you decided that I didn't matter? Konw that when you do this it hurts me. How can I think you're not like the others when my past experience has taught me otherwise? How can I believe or even hope that you might be different? What's a woman got to do to get laid?!
And the reply this lady got?...
RE: Missed Connection with Men in General (A*sholopolis)
That's pretty much how we treat all fat girls. Put the twinkie down and buy a treadmill.
The male gender is a savage one...
I like this. Someone with less to do than me.
Old Mcdonalds had a Farm... - m4w - 27 (Marietta)
IEIEOOOOOO
Stumble It!
Friday Craigslist Missed Connections
Looking for a man from Wisconsin. Any man will do...
Wisconsin guys at the Eagle - m4m - 38 (Eagle)
You guys from Wisconsin are are hot, looked for you but you disappeared.
Women, show us your tits...
Whats upp pwoplw - m4w - 21 (????)
I had an idea. this is a missed connection. If you think you can quess who I am send me an e-mail. Breast pics accepted also.
This one has a very sweet title, but then he talks @nal. C*ck in to the hilt? Awesome...
I miss you, H - m4w - 58 (Stone Mountain)
I miss you H. You were so right, H. We had something great going on and i ruined it. Please forgive me. I haven't had great sex since you. You were terrific in everything. Your bl*wjobs were exquisite. When you sat on on my c*ck and went to town you blew my mind. And when you turned up your b*tt and allowed me to sink my c*ck in your @sshole to the hilt I went crazy. Don't know why I was so stupid. I have talked to your sister several times to find you. I still miss you and love you. Please write.
Please can someone tell me what being 'eiffel tower-ed' means? Things change so fast these days... Sweet poem though.
to the boy who eiffel tower-ed me last night at cenci (cenci)
i think you're really cute.
sometimes i get lost in your eyes.
you've got the moves.
and you've got this sh*t on lock down.
you ride bikes. and want a motorcycle.
which is pretty cool i guess.
your roomates are pretty awesome, and i like to hang at the burning tree and beat the sh*t out of guitar hero drums with spoons.
speaking of spoons, i hope there is still some cake left so you can feed it to me later. you're my lucky # 13 even if you are a bit of a jerk sometimes, but hey.
we all have our flaws. yours is that you like me.
to the point...
to the person who wrote my phone number on the bathroom wall at soco
i hate you.
Chocolate Thunder. I will say no more...
the BIGGEST LOSER casting call several months ago at WILD BILLS - m4w - 34 (GWINNETT wild bills)
we stood in line you were right behind me once we made it inside we were selected for the same tryout group anyway i forgot your name but you said your nickname was "chocolate thunder" you turned me on i wanted to ask for your email or phone number but i was just too shy we talked and laughed but i didnt make the move if i could meet you again i'd like to make the move this time you told me everyone needs some chocolate thunder in there life and i thought to myself, yeah i'd love some chocolate thunder all over me you were tall and so am i you were sexy and so am i i felt chemistry but didnt act on it i'd love to spend some time with you i've been craving your chocolate. tell me who i was there with and i will know its you
Stumble It!
Wisconsin guys at the Eagle - m4m - 38 (Eagle)
You guys from Wisconsin are are hot, looked for you but you disappeared.
Women, show us your tits...
Whats upp pwoplw - m4w - 21 (????)
I had an idea. this is a missed connection. If you think you can quess who I am send me an e-mail. Breast pics accepted also.
This one has a very sweet title, but then he talks @nal. C*ck in to the hilt? Awesome...
I miss you, H - m4w - 58 (Stone Mountain)
I miss you H. You were so right, H. We had something great going on and i ruined it. Please forgive me. I haven't had great sex since you. You were terrific in everything. Your bl*wjobs were exquisite. When you sat on on my c*ck and went to town you blew my mind. And when you turned up your b*tt and allowed me to sink my c*ck in your @sshole to the hilt I went crazy. Don't know why I was so stupid. I have talked to your sister several times to find you. I still miss you and love you. Please write.
Please can someone tell me what being 'eiffel tower-ed' means? Things change so fast these days... Sweet poem though.
to the boy who eiffel tower-ed me last night at cenci (cenci)
i think you're really cute.
sometimes i get lost in your eyes.
you've got the moves.
and you've got this sh*t on lock down.
you ride bikes. and want a motorcycle.
which is pretty cool i guess.
your roomates are pretty awesome, and i like to hang at the burning tree and beat the sh*t out of guitar hero drums with spoons.
speaking of spoons, i hope there is still some cake left so you can feed it to me later. you're my lucky # 13 even if you are a bit of a jerk sometimes, but hey.
we all have our flaws. yours is that you like me.
to the point...
to the person who wrote my phone number on the bathroom wall at soco
i hate you.
Chocolate Thunder. I will say no more...
the BIGGEST LOSER casting call several months ago at WILD BILLS - m4w - 34 (GWINNETT wild bills)
we stood in line you were right behind me once we made it inside we were selected for the same tryout group anyway i forgot your name but you said your nickname was "chocolate thunder" you turned me on i wanted to ask for your email or phone number but i was just too shy we talked and laughed but i didnt make the move if i could meet you again i'd like to make the move this time you told me everyone needs some chocolate thunder in there life and i thought to myself, yeah i'd love some chocolate thunder all over me you were tall and so am i you were sexy and so am i i felt chemistry but didnt act on it i'd love to spend some time with you i've been craving your chocolate. tell me who i was there with and i will know its you
Stumble It!
Craigslist Missed Connections - The Beginning
The yanks know Craigslist, but for the rest of you...
Craigslist is a posting website, where anyone can sell what they like, advertise for love (i.e. find a hooker), find a place to live or whatever. The Missed Connections section is for missed encounters, so if you saw someone you fancied in Wallmart, you can post that you saw that person in the queue and want to meet up. Who knows, maybe they'll see it! You might get lucky after all!
Or maybe you'll get some smug British man making fun of you.
One rule - I never reply to the posts, these Craigslist people don't need encouraging. Don't encourage them either, unless you're genuinely the person they searching for.
After indepth analysis of all the USA towns and cities (done by someone else, I'm busy! can't you tell?), the favourite by far is... Atlanta. My new best town ever. Let's get the ball rolling...
Craigslist is a posting website, where anyone can sell what they like, advertise for love (i.e. find a hooker), find a place to live or whatever. The Missed Connections section is for missed encounters, so if you saw someone you fancied in Wallmart, you can post that you saw that person in the queue and want to meet up. Who knows, maybe they'll see it! You might get lucky after all!
Or maybe you'll get some smug British man making fun of you.
One rule - I never reply to the posts, these Craigslist people don't need encouraging. Don't encourage them either, unless you're genuinely the person they searching for.
After indepth analysis of all the USA towns and cities (done by someone else, I'm busy! can't you tell?), the favourite by far is... Atlanta. My new best town ever. Let's get the ball rolling...
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